Believing Lies

This is an interesting passage from A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, a New Age book that was required reading from my yoga training. The way the word "ego" is used in this book is similar to the way we in the church talk about sin of the heart:

A shy person who is afraid of the attention of others is not free of ego, but has an ambivalent ego that both wants and fears attention from others. The fear is that the attention may take the form of disapproval or criticism, that is to say, something that diminishes the sense of self rather than enhances it. So the shy person's fear of attention is greater than his or her need of attention. Shyness often goes with a self-concept that is predominantly negative, the belief of being inadequate. Any conceptual sense of self-- seeing myself as this or that-- is ego, whether predominantly positive (I am the greatest) or negative (I am no good). Behind every positive self-concept is the hidden fear of not being good enough. Behind every negative self-concept is the hidden desire of being the greatest or better than others. Behind the confident ego's feeling of and continuing need for superiority is the unconscious fear of inferiority. Conversely, the shy, inadequate that feels inferior has a strong hidden desire for superiority. Many people fluctuate between feelings of inferiority and superiority, depending on situations or the people they come into contact with. All you need to know and observe in yourself is this: Whenever you feel superior or inferior to anyone, that's the ego in you.

This goes along nicely with what a local yoga teacher wrote on her blog recently:

I was driving to teach the other morning as the new day’s breeze kissed my face and the strands of my hair danced with that very breeze and then it came to me…

The notion that I am unloved or unsupported by people or by the Universe itself is an illusion. It’s a lie.

My body filled with so much joy but a calm, quiet joy; so much tenderness for the part of me that ever felt or believed, even once, otherwise.

I understand this yoga teacher's sentiments. One of the blessings of being (happily) married is that I don't really have times when I feel completely "unloved by people". However, in my experience, it doesn't always feel like enough to know that there are people who love me. I can still feel lonely and undesirable. I am blessed to have, upon occasion, felt and really understood that God loves me, that he always has and always will, and that's enough. But I'm forgetful. I have this tendency to believe that I don't already have access to that satisfying love. I tend to believe that the approval and acceptance of other people will give me the love that I think I'm missing. It's a lie, whispered in my ear by dear Wormwood...