Can't Sleep.

I can't sleep. For the past couple months I've generally had a hard time sleeping, due to stress, I think. During the year and a half that I worked at Austin Java I experienced very little stress, and I recognized that life was good. I mostly enjoyed the work and my coworkers, and my schedule was good. I had time to cook, be in a small group at church and teach ESL classes. I liked the things I did and found them to be worthwhile. Aside from minor daily struggles, everything was smooth sailing. I remember once when I met with my small group and the topic we were discussing was worry; I was completely unable to identify with my friends' worries, and I wondered to myself if I was just fortunate, or if I was a zombie. There was no drama...but I never felt particularly stimulated either. If some people's lives are an emotional roller coaster, my emotional life was like riding the Zephyr around Zilker Park: flat. Nice and fine.

Since January I have been transitioning into a new phase, quitting at Austin Java to try to make a career out of teaching yoga. I've been learning new things like Antigravity yoga, paddle yoga and how to ride/care for a motorcycle. I've set a few goals that I'll actually have to work hard to accomplish, and I've traded a (relatively) routine schedule for one that has me working as early as 5:30am on some days, as late as 10pm on other days, and working on Saturdays. For months I've known that I will quit some of the classes I am presently teaching to work full time for Black Swan Yoga, and I've simply been waiting in anticipation for the second studio to open. These are things that excite me, and life is still good, but stimulation seems to be accompanied by stressors. I feel like I'm still well within the learning curve as I become a yoga teacher for the masses, I miss being on the same work schedule as David, I feel like I've been waiting for so long to have the opportunity to make a decent income teaching and I've been amazed at how rarely our motorcycle starts without any problems.

One thing I love about going on vacation is that I don't have to think about any of the things I normally have to think about. My mind is at peace when I lay down my head and I fall easily to sleep...