There is no question about the fact that I am an introvert. I read this amusing article today, about the needs of an introvert and the ways in which introverts are misunderstood by extroverts. I found particularly interesting the part that goes like this: “Many actors, I’ve read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors.”
I know the feeling that I need to “act” when at parties and meeting new people, and I have mixed feelings about it. I’ve gone through phases where I’ve made conscious efforts to be more animated and talkative in social situations, but the trouble with that is that it can only last so long. I can only be chatty and excitable for about two hours before I crash and am rendered utterly incapable of being so anymore. It’s like I have to consciously turn the switch on myself, but it flips off on its own and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I’ve also gone through phases where I’ve taken the attitude that I need to be more genuinely “me” (that is, quieter and calmer), but the trouble with that is that people don’t instantly like me and I’m more difficult to talk to. I’ve sensed that many extroverted people, if they are not the sort who carry most conversations on their own, feel awkward if there are quiet moments in conversation and are uncomfortable if the conversation is mostly serious.
So what is an introvert to do? Is “acting” in social situations being fake? Should introverts even bother going to parties if they don’t want to chit chat about nothing in particular? Or is social chit chat simply a skill that needs to be developed to have success in a lot of arenas in our society?
3 comments:
I used to think of myself as a "social butterfly" which some would categorize as extroverted, but after reading that article I definitely fall into the introvert category. I especially liked this quote from the article because it rings so true for me, "The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself."
Yes, I think lots of people think being an introvert means you don't like people and don't like socializing, and as a result a lot of people seem to think that being an introvert is a bad thing. Just not true!
It surprises me how annoyed I feel when I have to repeat myself. Being interrupted is also a big one for me.
I'd like to think that only extroverts think it's bad to be an introvert. I don't mind being an introvert, because I'd rather be considered rude for being quiet than being rude for saying too much. The question of whether to go to social functions if you don't feel like socializing is something I've struggled with my whole life! When Bruce and I were first married we used to go to church socials and just look at each other and hold hands. I told him that if this is all we were going to do at social functions, we should just stay home. We felt we should try to reach out, and we did. But it is still a struggle to get motivated to go to social functions, when we're perfectly content to be at home. Getting together with family is completely different (I mean, not the struggle!)
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