The Life of Mountain Pie

Control

2012-02-01T14:55:00.003-06:00

When I was taking the motorcycle safety course, my riding coach told me: "Remember, you are in control of the bike." Up to that point, I did not truly believe that I was in control. Instead I felt like it was me versus the bike, and I sure hoped that I would win. But this was a machine, not a bull, and I was a driver, not a rider.

There are many things in life that are beyond control, but there are some things within control. I'm not in control of the weather or the other drivers, but I am in control of the gas and the brake. I'm not in control of who comes into my yoga class, but I am (should be?) in control of which poses I instruct.

This week I taught a class that got away from me. It's a class that I don't plan out ahead of time, and as the class unfolded, I made some choices that seemed strange to me, I couldn't figure out how we had gotten into the sequence we got into, and I kept wishing that the hour would hurry up and be over. How does this happen? After teaching hundreds of classes, how is it that I can feel so helpless to bring a class back to the good sequences that I've used so many times? And if I'm not in control, who is? It was as if something inside me was rejecting the tried-and-true sequences, but without offering another idea for what to do.

The next class I taught went fine. Great, even.

How I Love Thee, Gregory

2012-01-25T18:03:00.003-06:00

Gregory Gym, you knew I'd find my way back to you. I've been teaching at UT for a week now, and it's just as splendid as I imagined! Today my schedule went like this:

11am-12pm: substitute taught a vinyasa class
12:15-12:25pm: ran a mile on the track
12:30pm-1:10pm: yoga-ed myself in the "stretching area"
1:20-2:20pm: substitute taught another vinyasa class
2:30-3:15pm: took a Zumba class

Glorious! If they will pay me to spend my time this way, I will take it!

The Year in Pictures

2012-01-02T21:55:00.005-06:00

One thing I both love and hate about this day and age is that everything is in real time. I hate it because it makes me feel like I have to apologize for posting an end-of-year entry on January 2nd. It makes me feel like I should be writing about newer, fresher, hopeful things. But alas, I was busy living the last few days of the year, so here they are, some of the highlights of my year:

January trip to Boston to visit Bill and Jennifer. The coldest weather I have ever been in.
Antigravity yoga training.
My ESL class.
David performing at Papa's funeral.
Paddle yoga all summer long!
Aunt Lin! Do you think any of these people are related? Maybe???
Glacier National Park. National park of my heart.
Beach camping!!!
Farm-to-Table with friends!

Big T and little t

2011-12-21T14:02:00.001-06:00

The last post was not really so much about the motorcycle. It was not even so much about frustration with being categorized and stereotyped and placed in rigid boxes. It’s really about my struggles to understand what’s true, what’s false, and what’s relative.

When I was in college, I took a class about race in the media, in which the graduate student who taught the class postulated that “race is a pigment of our imagination,” that is to say, that race is merely a social construction and not a fact. At first this caught me off guard because I’d never considered how a particular race might be scientifically defined. As the semester went on, however, this idea that race is not actually real began to rub me the wrong way. I just didn’t believe it. It doesn’t take more than a look around to know that people have physical differences, and while it’s not simple or easy to define, I believe that race is certainly real. What’s not real is that people who look one way are more or less valuable than people who look another way. And that basic characteristics of certain racial groups can be assumed across the entire group.

I’m suspicious when people resemble, to a T, the stereotype of the subcultures to which they belong. It’s not that I’m opposed to culture; I love traditions and all those small things that facilitate connections between people. However, I do think there is a difference between truth and culture. I can only assume that this difference is widely confusing-- why else would people conform (and feel pressured to conform) so much?

Truth with a capital ‘T,’ the kind that applies to all humanity and the cosmos and whatnot is of utmost importance, but I find in my daily life that I think just as frequently, if not more so, about what is and is not true for me personally. Theoretically, I believe that it’s just fine for people to be certain ways simply because culture dictates it—as long as they realize that it’s culture, not truth, that makes them that way. At the same time I believe that people should embrace some things about culture and reject others based on what’s true for them personally. For example, do you actually like tie-dyed yoga pants? Or is your primary motivation for wearing them the fact that they’re popular at the place you go for yoga classes? Maybe you have the opposite tendency to reject something you actually like, simply because it is popular amongst your peers.

I don’t know how important this kind of truth is. I suppose people who tend to conform place a lot of value on unity and those who refuse to conform place a lot of value on creativity. As I place a lot of value on knowing truth about myself personally, I find myself on the fringe of several subcultures, wanting to be more deeply connected, but at the same time wanting to separate myself.

The rest is just culture

2011-12-19T13:41:00.004-06:00

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but why did you decide to get a motorcycle? You don't really seem like the type."

This was the question posed to me by a friend recently, and no, I don't mind if she asks. In fact, I love that she asked. The answer is rather obvious: I wanted a motorcycle because they're fun and cool (why else would one buy a motorcycle?)

I understand that I don't "seem like the type." Interestingly, I do seem like the scooter "type," and since we bought the motorcycle, I've had many people ask why we bought a motorcycle instead of a scooter. Practically speaking, a scooter and a motorcycle are extremely similar: they both run on two wheels and are smaller than a car, they can be priced similarly, and you get wet if it starts raining while you're riding. There are design differences, and motorcycles are more difficult to learn to drive, but the primary difference between a scooter and a motorcycle is the cultural connotation. According to our culture, motorcycles are dangerous and are for rebels or adrenaline junkies. Scooters are cute and are for latte-drinking, environmentally-minded, middle class young people. According to reality, riding a scooter poses the exact same risks as riding a motorcycle, the fuel economy between the two is comparable and an able-bodied person of any demographic and subculture can physically drive either one.

I have nothing against scooters, I just prefer the "cool" of the motorcycle over the "cute" of the scooter. In spite of the fact that I'm a middle class young person.

I don't like being put inside boxes. Probably most people would say they don't like being put in boxes, but I think that overall, most people do like being put in boxes most of the time. It seems to me that one of the deepest human desires is the desire for intimacy. We want to know others and to be known, we want to feel like we belong somewhere. When we look, sound and think the same way as the people around us, we feel like we belong. When we meet new people, we look for indicators of potential for intimacy, and we put out indicators to make ourselves more easily identifiable to the people around us. This is why we conform to subcultures (advertisers know this and, as a result, have created niche marketing.)

But these indicators, the style of our dress, the language we use, whether we drive a motorcycle or a scooter, are simply a constructed identity and may or may not have anything to do with our real, basic identity. We use our constructed identity as an attempt to communicate our true identity. But all those things change according to the subcultures available to us. When we strip away the culture, our true identity remains the same.

In conclusion, stop putting me in a middle class young person box (or any other box for that matter) and asking me why we bought a motorcycle instead of a scooter. I just like them better than scooters, ok?

Floating around and coming together

2011-12-02T13:24:00.004-06:00

I feel like I just sweated all of this week out through my pores. Sometimes this sensation is glorious, but sometimes it just ain't pretty. Today was less pretty. I had a hard time getting deep into my poses and staying there was even more difficult. It was incredible effort to open anything and transitions left me feeling light-headed. It's odd to experience these difficulties when you know that muscular strength and flexibility are not the cause. Indeed, my muscles feel strong and limber; it's the rest of me that doesn't. I think these are growing pains.

Last night as I was going to bed, random thoughts that have been floating around for months all came together, so I wrote them down:

*I think I have some good qualities, but not many of them make me an excellent employee.

*David likes it when I smell like soap and I like it when he smells like himself.

*I have handwriting fonts. Sometimes I decide to change my handwriting and sometimes it just changes.

*When I was 19 I went to Spain to study the language and explore the culture. I didn't miss my friends at home, but I longed for intimacy. I found a Spanish boy fairly quickly.

*Why not? Give it a chance. That has been my attitude.

*For someone as naturally introspective as I am, I sure don't understand myself very well.

*I feel that I am more than I am. Is that because my parents always told me I was special? (link) Or is it unrealized potential? Is it because I don't understand the fullness of my identity?

Last night it seemed strange that these particular thoughts would be coming to me at the same time. But I think I'm coming to realize that I have felt a life-long disconnect between me and...myself. Somehow. Not to say that I don't know anything about myself, because surely I do. I know what I like to do, I know what I want for my future, I know my interests, I know many of my strengths and weaknesses, I have seen patterns in my thought and behavior. The "knowing myself" I'm talking about it more subtle. Like how it surprises me nearly every time I cry.

Recently I have had a few instances where I felt like I knew myself and it was wondrous: I had a couple strange, detailed dreams that made sense to me in the morning. A few times I allowed someone to give me something and found that it was exactly what I needed, even though I had been only vaguely aware of the need.

Caring for your introvert

2011-11-18T11:59:00.002-06:00

There is no question about the fact that I am an introvert. I read this amusing article today, about the needs of an introvert and the ways in which introverts are misunderstood by extroverts. I found particularly interesting the part that goes like this: “Many actors, I’ve read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors.”

I know the feeling that I need to “act” when at parties and meeting new people, and I have mixed feelings about it. I’ve gone through phases where I’ve made conscious efforts to be more animated and talkative in social situations, but the trouble with that is that it can only last so long. I can only be chatty and excitable for about two hours before I crash and am rendered utterly incapable of being so anymore. It’s like I have to consciously turn the switch on myself, but it flips off on its own and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I’ve also gone through phases where I’ve taken the attitude that I need to be more genuinely “me” (that is, quieter and calmer), but the trouble with that is that people don’t instantly like me and I’m more difficult to talk to. I’ve sensed that many extroverted people, if they are not the sort who carry most conversations on their own, feel awkward if there are quiet moments in conversation and are uncomfortable if the conversation is mostly serious.

So what is an introvert to do? Is “acting” in social situations being fake? Should introverts even bother going to parties if they don’t want to chit chat about nothing in particular? Or is social chit chat simply a skill that needs to be developed to have success in a lot of arenas in our society?

Occupy Wall Street - Organizing my thoughts

2011-10-21T15:50:00.003-05:00

When I first heard about it early this month, it passed in one ear and out the other. I didn’t want to be bothered with having to care about something new.

But then I kept hearing about it. A lot of people I work with, many of whom I respect very much, became advocates for the cause, posting many articles and photos on Facebook, sending out information about and encouraging others to participate in Austin’s local manifestation of Occupy Wall Street. I decided I needed to form an opinion of some kind about the matter, so I set about to learn more about the Occupy Wall Street protests. At first there weren’t very many articles to read. But in the next week or two, the media began to recognize the protests more, and now I’ve read dozens of articles: articles by critics, supporters and many who are simply confounded by the whole thing. (Just a note to those who presently feel confounded: it’s too late to loudly proclaim your confoundedness regarding Occupy Wall Street. Do a little research and you will learn a lot.)

I am not a die-hard supporter of Occupy Wall Street, but I’m certainly not opposed. First of all, freedom of expression is one of the most basic luxuries we enjoy in this country, and if people are upset about something, they have every right to make their voices heard. Second, if you think the protests are stupid, consider the fact that they are attracting thousands of people and they are spreading across the country and across the world. It seems that they strike a chord with a lot of people, and you would be remiss to not even stop for a moment and entertain the idea that there might be something to it.

The protests have been heavily criticized for lack of cohesiveness, and the protesters have been criticized for not knowing what they want, but I think this criticism may be a bit short-sighted. Occupy Wall Street may peter out. But it might turn into a full-blown movement. It’s not entirely different from the beginning stages of movements of the past. It begins with widespread discontent, then a list of grievances. This is where Occupy Wall Street is right now. After recognizing and defining that discontent, there is a power struggle with the offending entity and only after that are changes are made, solutions found.

The criticisms I’ve heard that are widespread and particularly annoy me (and are a big reason I felt compelled to write and post this) are that the protesters don’t know what they want and that the protesters are pushing for redistribution of wealth.

I’ll start with the former. Cynical journalists have painted a picture of the protesters as lazy, unemployed hippie wannabes who just want to protest something and don’t have any idea what they’re talking about. To be fair, I’m sure that there are plenty of protesters who exhibit some or all of those qualities. But I actually know personally some people who are gung-ho Occupy Wall Street and are actively participating in Occupy Austin. They may be hippies, I’ll give you that, and they may not know the ins and outs of the financial world, but they are not stupid, lazy or unemployed. A few of them are some of the hardest working people I know and go to join the crowds down by City Hall in the little free time that they have because they really believe in the cause.

What the cause “is” is not obvious at first glance; complaints range from corporate greed to war in Afghanistan to environmental causes. But diversity in complaints represents a disconnect that protesters feel between themselves and the government. What the protesters want is for their voices to be heard, and they don’t hear it in their elected representatives.

The second criticism of the Occupy Wall Street protests that annoys me is the rumor that protesters are pushing for redistribution of wealth. The mantra “We are the 99%” can make this confusing, and while I’m sure that some protestors are in favor of that, it’s really not an idea that the majority of them are advocating. In reality, what “the 99%” and “the 1%” represent is power. Protestors are not angry that the wealthiest 1% of people in our nation are so rich, they are angry that those rich people have such a disproportionate amount of power in our political system, a system that was specifically designed to represent all citizens as equally as possible. If you don’t think that all citizens should be represented equally, that’s a different conversation.

It’s only natural that the people who have the most resources also have the most power in society, and those who have the most power have the potential to impact those who are less powerful, for better of for worse. Protesters are not protesting the money and possessions of the wealthiest 1%, they are protesting the corruption and greed within those most powerful entities, which have adverse effects on the less powerful 99%. They are protesting a perceived tolerance for greed and corruption that the United States government has exhibited in the last several years.

I think some good things could come out of Occupy Wall Street. It may cause more people to participate in the political process, or even pursue non-profit work in order to make our country a better place to live. If nothing else, it may cause some people to think for a moment about how their everyday choices contribute to the very things they’re against. Who knows?

If you don't know much about Occupy Wall Street, here are some articles I've found to be helpful:

*timeline of the protests: http://www.npr.org/2011/10/20/141530025/occupy-wall-street-from-a-blog-post-to-a-movement

*written by protestors proclaiming their “7 Core Demands”: http://www.goldstockbull.com/articles/7-demands-from-occupy-wall-street/

*opinion piece regarding the lack of cohesion in the movement: http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/05/opinion/rushkoff-occupy-wall-street/index.html

*this is my favorite article from a critic of the protests (but I will admit my bias; I probably like this one because he concedes that they’re not entirely wrong), but as I said, I disagree that re-distribution of wealth is a primary goal of Occupy Wall Street protestors: http://www.daveramsey.com/article/dear-occupy-wall-street/lifeandmoney_economy/?ectid=bitlyified101920111325

New Website

2011-10-03T17:21:00.003-05:00

www.rachelbreedingyoga.com

Just some ponderings

2011-08-19T12:23:00.004-05:00

When things are good, it's easy to be humane and civilized. If you have everything you need, it's easy to refrain from stealing and killing. When you have your health, freedom and are treated with respect, it's easy to be nice and pleasant. When there's plenty to go around, it's easy to share. But when you're desperate...that's when you show what you're really made of.

I've always been a "nice girl", but I've always had everything (thanks Mom and Dad!) The things I do struggle with seem so small, even to me. So I wonder, what kind of person am I really? Am I strong? Am I a survivor? Would I put others before myself in dire circumstances? Would I put myself at risk for a higher purpose? Do I REALLY love Jesus and trust him with my life?

Can't Sleep.

2011-08-03T00:31:00.003-05:00

I can't sleep. For the past couple months I've generally had a hard time sleeping, due to stress, I think. During the year and a half that I worked at Austin Java I experienced very little stress, and I recognized that life was good. I mostly enjoyed the work and my coworkers, and my schedule was good. I had time to cook, be in a small group at church and teach ESL classes. I liked the things I did and found them to be worthwhile. Aside from minor daily struggles, everything was smooth sailing. I remember once when I met with my small group and the topic we were discussing was worry; I was completely unable to identify with my friends' worries, and I wondered to myself if I was just fortunate, or if I was a zombie. There was no drama...but I never felt particularly stimulated either. If some people's lives are an emotional roller coaster, my emotional life was like riding the Zephyr around Zilker Park: flat. Nice and fine.

Since January I have been transitioning into a new phase, quitting at Austin Java to try to make a career out of teaching yoga. I've been learning new things like Antigravity yoga, paddle yoga and how to ride/care for a motorcycle. I've set a few goals that I'll actually have to work hard to accomplish, and I've traded a (relatively) routine schedule for one that has me working as early as 5:30am on some days, as late as 10pm on other days, and working on Saturdays. For months I've known that I will quit some of the classes I am presently teaching to work full time for Black Swan Yoga, and I've simply been waiting in anticipation for the second studio to open. These are things that excite me, and life is still good, but stimulation seems to be accompanied by stressors. I feel like I'm still well within the learning curve as I become a yoga teacher for the masses, I miss being on the same work schedule as David, I feel like I've been waiting for so long to have the opportunity to make a decent income teaching and I've been amazed at how rarely our motorcycle starts without any problems.

One thing I love about going on vacation is that I don't have to think about any of the things I normally have to think about. My mind is at peace when I lay down my head and I fall easily to sleep...

Bittersweet, but mostly sweet

2011-07-29T10:11:00.006-05:00

For me, the most surprising thing about our trip to Glacier National Park was how the same it was. The tricky thing about revisiting something from my past that I'm still very fond of is that I tend to romanticize and idealize it, so in the back of my mind it occurred to me that the reality of it might not live up to my expectations. But Glacier was exactly as fantastic as I remember. The Going-to-the-Sun Road was still the most jaw-dropping beautiful 50 miles of road I've ever driven and the pastries at the Polebridge Mercantile are just as fluffy, flaky and satisfying as I remember. On the trail I felt the same overwhelming urge to explore until I'd been everywhere and seen everything (and at the same time taking comfort in the knowledge that there will always be more hiking than I can do). The atmosphere in the lobby of Lake McDonald Lodge was the same intense serenity. And no matter how well-behaved they were while working, I could also tell that the employees, though the faces had changed, were still free-spirited wild kids.

Dana was also still there, just like I knew he would be, and he looked just as I remembered, except I think he's younger than I had supposed. Five years ago, when I worked in the kitchen at Lake McDonald Lodge, Dana was in his 17th season there. When I first met him, I thought that maybe he was a bit stupid; he didn't say much and I often saw him just sitting in the lobby, observing the people or staring at nothing in particular. Sometimes he would talk about all the hikes he'd done in the park, which at the time I doubted, because I only ever saw him working, in the employee dining room or sitting in the lobby.

One evening in 2006 I was sitting near the fireplace amongst the hotel guests, and Dana and another employee were sitting nearby. It was silent except for the crackling fire as Dana began to converse with the other employee. His voice was low and quiet, as always, but in the silence he was certainly heard by all. He began telling of grizzly encounters within the park. As he spoke, the guests watched the fire, but with their ears they hung on his words. He told of a man who went missing while hiking and all they ever found of him were his boots-- with his feet still in them. At this point some of the guests shifted in their seats. I decided Dana might be more clever than I had thought.

Another time my roommate and I ate in the dining room, just to see what it was like on the other side of the kitchen doors, and Dana waited on us. As a waiter he was exquisite. He was reserved but warm, courteous and on the ball-- a real professional. He was a born-waiter and long-time seasonal worker. In the winter he goes to Arizona, and in the summer it's always Lake McDonald. For a kid in his 20s, this kind of life feels nomadic and exciting, but for Dana I imagine it's routine and comforting. I now think that Dana spends a lot of time just sitting in the lobby probably because, while his younger counterparts are in a hurry to get out and live it up, he's comfortable with being still. I've always thought Dana was a fascinating person.

Of course, not everything was the same this time at Glacier. Last time I would go the the employee dining room to eat lunch and check my mail slot, and nearly every day I would find a hand-written letter from David. This time David was there hiking the trails with me (and thank the Lord that I don't have to eat the food from the employee dining room anymore). This time I also found out what it was like to really be on the other side of the kitchen doors. Outside of the lodge I didn't think about it at all, but while visiting the lodge, I was keenly aware that I wasn't part of the employee community. I'm still young enough (and Glacier-savvy enough, I like to think) that several employees asked me if I worked at the park, but generally they saw me as just another tourist, a passing face. In the stores and restaurants they were polite to me, if not slightly disinterested, and it made me a little sad.

In a way I wish I was in their shoes, but in another way I'm glad I'm not. Either way, I know that where I am and what I'm doing now is what's best for me (but David told me, not sure how serious he was, if he ever found himself out of a job, he would consider seasonal work, and that makes me happy!) Whether or not I ever return to Glacier in that capacity, there are far too many trails I haven't seen to think that I won't be returning at all!

I can almost taste it...

2011-07-07T17:33:00.004-05:00

It's getting close. I'm monitoring the Glacier National Park webpage, keeping up-to-date with the status of the Going-to-the-Sun Road snow plowing. At home I'm putting together our Glacier vacation food supply now. It's a lot of work, but it's a lot of fun. Some nibbles we have to look forward to:

Good Old Raisins and Peanuts (the M&Ms are assumed)

Apricot, almonds and pumpkin seeds

Hula! Mango, pineapple, banana chips, coconut, macadamia nuts, and sunflower seeds

Camping in Glacier National Park

2011-07-01T12:04:00.005-05:00

Camping is a great way to experience the outdoors, meet people from all over and save a little money on your Glacier vacation.

Front Country Camping
Front country, aka car camping, is widely available throughout the park. Campgrounds on the west side of the park are: Apgar, Avalanche, Bowman Lake, Fish Creek, Kintla Lake and Sprague Creek. On the east side are: Many Glacier, Rising Sun, St. Mary and Two Medicine. Campgrounds in Waterton Lakes in Canada are: Townsite, Crandell and Belly River.

Reservations/Walk-ins
All campgrounds in Glacier are first-come, first-served EXCEPT Fish Creek and St. Mary. These may be reserved up to six months in advance for a fee of $9. With a $9 fee, group sites for 9-24 campers may be reserved up to a year in advance at Apgar, Many Glacier, St. Mary and Two Medicine. All campsites in Waterton Lakes may be reserved in advance.

While it is impossible to say when a first-come, first-served campsite will fill up, you can get an idea by checking the NPS Glacier camping webpage to see what time each site filled up on particular days in years past.

Cost
Cost per campsite per night ranges between $15 and $23 in Glacier and $15 and $55 (Canadian dollars) per campsite in Waterton Lakes.

Amenities
Most, but not all campgrounds in Glacier have toilets and Rising Sun is the only campground with showers. The showers at Rising Sun are behind the general store and are token-operated. Tokens can be purchased at the general store. The Townsite campground in Waterton Lakes has free showers.

For more detailed information about front country camping in Glacier or to make reservations, visit the NPS Glacier camping webpage. For more information about front country camping in Waterton Lakes or to make reservations, visit the Waterton Lakes camping webpage.

Outside the Park
There are National Forest and private campgrounds outside the park as well. Big Creek campground in Flathead National Forest is $13/night, has toilets and is convenient to the North Fork area. Glacier Campground and San Suz Ed Bed & Breakfast and Campground are both private campgrounds with public showers located on west of Glacier on Highway 2. If you camp there, showers are included, but showers are open to anyone for a $5 fee.

Backcountry Camping
Backcountry camping can be the most rewarding way to visit the park. It's in this way that you can get off the well-beaten path, find a bit of solitude and the most breath-taking views. You can hike for a short trip, a multiple night trip, or even an extended backpacking trip.

An indispensable resource when planning a backcountry trip is the Glacier National Park Backcountry Guide, updated each year by the National Park Service. Read it all the way through at least one time. Another helpful resource for backcountry trips is the Falcon Guide Hiking Glacier and Waterton Lakes National Parks by Erik Molvar.

To camp in the backcountry, you must obtain a backcountry use permit. In Glacier National Park, the Nyack/Coal Creek Camping Zone is the only area designated for camping outside of a campsite. Everywhere else you must camp in a designated campsite. Camping outside designated campsites in Waterton Lakes is permitted only under certain circumstances, but the Waterton Lakes website does not specify what these circumstances are. Call the warden's office to inquire (403-859-5140).

Cost
Backcountry camping in Glacier costs $5 per adult (ages 16 and up) per night. Children 8-15 years old cost $2.50 per night, and children 7 years and younger are free. In Waterton Lakes, the cost to camp in the backcountry is about $10 per person per night, with children ages 16 and under being free.

Reserving Backcountry Campsites
Approximately half of all backcountry campsites can be reserved in advance, with a processing fee of $30 per trip. Reserving particular campsites can be competitive. To have the best chance of getting the campsite of your choice, apply for your backcountry permit by April 15th. Applications can be found here. Applications submitted by April 15th will be entered into a lottery, meaning that an application submitted in January and an application submitted on April 15th have equal chance of being processed first. If your application is in the lottery, you can expect to hear back by mid-May. All applications submitted after April 15th are considered on a rolling basis. Your permit will NOT be sent to you in advance, you must pick it up at one of the permitting offices as early as the day before your trip and as late as 4:30pm on the day your trip is to begin.

When choosing a backpacking route, it is important to note the first day you may reserve particular sites (this information is available on page 4 of the Backcountry Guide). These dates are determined by when, in a typical year, these sites are likely to be clear of snow and suitable for camping. Some years, depending on the winter and spring snowfall, the campsites will open earlier than the published date, but in high snowfall years, they may open later.

Walk-in Backcountry Campsites
Approximately half of all backcountry campsites cannot be reserved. To obtain a backcountry permit without a reservation, you must go to one of the permitting offices the same day that your trip is to start. Walk-in campsites will go fast, so arrive early.

For more information about backcountry camping, visit the National Park Service Glacier backcountry webpage.

Lodging in Glacier National Park

2011-07-01T09:41:00.006-05:00

When choosing a place to stay in Glacier, consider the following factors: price, amenities and location.

Location
The Continental Divide separates Glacier into two climatic regions. The west side of the park is more moist with cedar hemlock forests. The east side, while receiving similar amounts of rainfall, is windier and thus drier and more extreme a climate. The west side is greener and has more tall trees, the east side is more open, allowing for more views of the mountains. Both sides, though different, are visually stunning.

The west side of the park is closer to Kalispell and the airport. Places to explore on the west side are the Lake McDonald area and the North Fork area. The east side has easier access to Canada. The area to explore on the east side are Two Medicine, St. Mary, Many Glacier and Waterton Lakes in Canada.

Price
The idyllic hotels inside the park are Lake McDonald Lodge on the west side, Many Glacier Hotel on the east side and the Prince of Wales Hotel in Waterton Lakes. Built early in the 1900s, these beautiful buildings are worth a visit, even if you stay elsewhere. Rooms inside these hotels range in price from $145/night to $299/night.*

Glacier Park Lodge in East Glacier and St. Mary Lodge and Resort in St. Mary are also wonderful lodges located just outside the park's borders.

Lake McDonald Lodge

Glacier Park Lodge

St. Mary Lodge & Resort
Many Glacier Hotel
Prince of Wales Hotel

There are also less pricey inns and cabins throughout the park. On the west side there is the Village Inn at Apgar, as well as a motor inn and cabins at Lake McDonald. These range in price from $122/night to $225/night. On the east side there is the Rising Sun Motor Inn and Cabins and Swiftcurrent Motor Inn and Cabins. These rooms and cabins go from $73/night to $134/night.

For more detailed information about pricing and amenities, visit Glacier Park, Inc.'s website.

*All prices subject to change from year to year.
**Disclaimer: the only photo in this post that belongs to me personally is the up-close photo of the Prince of Wales Hotel. The rest I found using Google image search.

How to Get There

2011-06-30T16:12:00.003-05:00

The best way to get to Glacier National Park depends a lot on where you're starting, so examine your different options.

Car
Driving tends to be the most economical mode of transportation, as well as the most convenient. It's a nice option if you live relatively close to Montana and/or if you have a lot of time and want to incorporate a road trip into your vacation.

Driving can also be the most time-consuming way to get to the park. From Austin, Texas it would take 31 hours of driving to get to Glacier, translating to at least 4 days of the vacation dedicated to getting there and back. To have a proper vacation, in my humble opinion, transportation to and from your destination should NEVER constitute more than 1/3 of your time.

Airplane
This is recommended if you're traveling a long distance to get to Glacier.

The best place to fly into is Kalispell, 30-45 minutes outside the park. There are other somewhat close cities and towns with airports, but airfares are not significantly lower into these airports, especially when you factor in the price of gas to drive the extra miles to the park.

I’m not an expert in airfares, but in my experience, buying tickets early is best. We bought our tickets in March for a trip in late July. I have checked ticket prices periodically since then, and they have only risen.

A drawback of flying is that things like stove fuel and bear spray can’t be brought on the airplane. If you intend to cook on a camp stove, plan to stop someplace in town to buy fuel.

Another thing to consider is how you will get to and around the park once you fly in: rent a car or public transportation?

Train
There is an Amtrak stop at East Glacier. If there is a fairly direct Amtrak route from where you live to the park, check out this option. Otherwise, the cost of taking the train is comparable to that of flying and the time to get there is comparable to that of driving.

The benefits of taking the train are that you can see some things you might not have seen otherwise and meet some interesting people.

No Potato

2011-06-23T16:41:00.003-05:00

These are the potato flakes I made a few weeks ago. I first made mashed potatoes, spread them in a thin layer and then dehydrated them. After that I put them in a blender to make them into the flakes you see here.

Just a couple days ago I discovered a little passage in the dehydrating book noting that butter and oil cannot be dried. And milk cannot be home-dried. After a little research on the World Wide Web, I confirmed this nugget of information to be true; to dry potatoes, they must be potatoes that are mashed, not mashed potatoes. Maybe that explains why the potato flakes have been smelling increasingly like candy???

Sad, but good to know.

Camping and Backpacking Check List

2011-06-19T20:50:00.007-05:00

This packing list may be customized (expanded or whittled down) according to you and your trip. Strike a balance between being efficient and being comfortable with your gear. Consider which items will be shared and which are personal. Consider possible weather conditions. Consider how much your backpack weighs when fully loaded. Consider the logistics of getting your gear from your house to your outdoor destination.

Essentials
*backpack
*daypack
*pack cover
*pocket knife/multi-tool
*map
*compass
*first aid kit
*rope/cord

Sleeping
*tent
*ground cover
*sleeping pad
*sleeping bag
*pillow
*headlamp/lantern

Cooking
*stove
*fuel (if you are flying, you will have to buy this once you've arrived)
*pots/pans
*cooking utensils
*measuring cup
*matches/lighter
*plate/bowl
*cup
*eating utensils
*water bottles
*water filter/iodine tablets
*trash bags
*water
*food
*stuff sack/bear can to store food
*coffee press
*sponge

Clothing
*hiking boots
*camp shoes/sandals
*socks
*sock liners
*shorts
*pants
*underwear
*shirts
*long-sleeved shirt
*jacket
*gloves
*hat
*bathing suit
*sunglasses
*rain gear

Toiletries
*tooth brush/paste
*contact solution/case
*extra contacts
*eyeglasses/case
*deodorant
*soap
*sunscreen
*hand sanitizer
*bug repellent
*lip balm with SPF
*medications
*towel
*trowel/toilet paper
*time piece

Other
*cash
*credit card
*identification
*keys
*camera
*duffel bag
*book to read
*pen & paper
*playing cards
*extra batteries
*duct tape

Top Things To Do in Glacier National Park

2011-06-17T11:10:00.013-05:00

These are the things that I would not miss when taking a trip to Glacier. Of course, there are many other things you can do as well, but these are the things that make Glacier Glacier. In approximate order by priority:

1. Hike

This is hiking paradise! There is no better place to hike, and there are no bad hikes in Glacier. I highly recommend backpacking, although day hikes are abundant and amazing as well. Actually, do both.

The Hidden Lake trail (half-day hike) and the Garden Wall trail (full-day hike) are two very popular trails that both begin at Logan Pass and give easy access to Glacier's gorgeous highcountry. However, there are zillions more trails, so get off the well-beaten path! For more information about half-day hikes, full-day hikes and backpacking hikes in Glacier, I highly recommend the Falcon Guide Hiking Glacier and Waterton Lakes National Parks.

2. Going-to-the-Sun Road
This is perhaps what Glacier is most famous for. The Going-to-the-Sun Road cuts through the middle of the park, crosses the Continental Divide at Logan Pass, and it is simply incredible. It's not an easy road to drive; it's 53 miles from one end to the other, constantly inclining or declining. The road is very twisty and narrow with two lanes, a rock wall on one side and a steep cliff on the other. It's common for the speed of traffic to be 25 miles per hour or less, especially during the day in the summertime. There are places to pull out and park to enjoy a particularly stunning view, and there are places to park at Logan Pass.

My favorite time to drive the road is early in the morning as the sun is rising, and on a clear evening, it's well worth it to park somewhere and hike to a nice place to watch the sunset. If you're a cyclist and you happen to be in Glacier on the night of a full moon, there is a tradition of biking to Logan Pass by moonlight.

A word of caution: Logan Pass is not open year-round. Depending on snowfall and avalanches, the Pass may not open until as late as July. You can find more information and updates on the condition of the road on the NPS Glacier website.

3. Waterton Lakes
Waterton Lakes is the Canadian counterpart to Glacier. Although Glacier and Waterton Lakes are part of the same International Peace Park, each has it's own feel. Go for a hike, take a little cruise on Upper Waterton Lake, have high tea at the Prince of Wales Hotel and marvel at the way Canadians really do say 'eh?' all the time. Bring your passport.

4. Sit by the fireplace at one of the lodges
It's just too picturesque. Each lodge inside the park has a HUGE fireplace in it's lobby, and it is actually someone's job to make sure that there's a fire going 24-hours a day. Whether or not you're actually staying at the lodge, sit in a rocking chair, write postcards, talk with other park visitors or just sit and watch the flames. After a full day of hiking and heart-bursting beauty, there is no better way to wind down.

5. Eat something huckleberry
This is Montana's thing, and there is no shortage of purple huckleberry yummies. My personal favorite is huckleberry ice cream, which is available at all restaurants inside the park.

6. Polebridge Mercantile
This general store/bakery/vacation getaway is actually just outside the park on the west side, and I only stumbled upon it by accident. Man am I glad I did! Food always tastes incredible after a long hike, but the baked goods here always taste incredible. Double delicious!

7. Park Cafe pie
This cute and popular restaurant is just outside the park on the east side, in St. Mary, Montana. At Park Cafe you can eat big old breakfasts, locally-raised bison burgers, and, of course, PIE!

8. Red Bus tour
Now this is wee bit expensive, but the Red Buses of Glacier National Park are historical icons of the park. A ride in these convertible-top buses lets you enjoy all the views without having to keep your eyes on the road, and the bus drivers know all the facts and lore about the park. More info here.

Trip Planning Checklist

2011-06-16T11:31:00.005-05:00

I love Glacier National Park. I worked there for a summer in college, and it was one of my favorite life experiences. I got to do a lot of exploring while I was there five years ago, and now we're going back so I can show David my favorite places that I discovered back then, as well as discover new things! Having already spent significant time in a place you're going to vacation helps A LOT with the planning process. I will share my knowledge here, both because it's fun for me to think about it and also because it might possibly help someone else plan an awesome trip the Glacier!

Trip Planning Checklist

Between March and May

Determine when and how long your ideal trip will be
Buy plane tickets
Make car rental reservations

Before April 15th

Make a simple list of things you want to do and places you want to go
If applicable, plan your backpacking trip. Determine how many days, what route you want to take, how long you want to hike each day and where you want to camp. Plan a first choice and a second choice trip.

By April 15th

Apply for your backpacking trip with the Glacier Backcountry Permit Office

After You Receive Your Backcountry Permit Reservation

Make a more detailed, day-by-day itinerary
Make camping reservations as possible

One Month Before the Trip

Make a packing list
Buy items you don't already have
Make a meal plan
Make a grocery list for things you need to buy before you leave (nonperishable items, things you want to prepare and package yourself, things you think may not be available in small town Montana)
Make a grocery list of things you need to buy after you arrive in Montana (fresh produce, things you don't need to package yourself)

Two Weeks Before Trip

Dehydrate food as necessary
Make arrangements for someone to drop you off and pick you up at the airport

One Week Before Trip

Buy food from your shopping list of things to buy before leaving
Pack backpacks
Give a simple itinerary of your trip to a few friends/family members

2-3 Days Before Trip

Prepare any foods that must be prepared in advance
Package your food
Print documents to keep with you: car rental reservations, campsite reservations, backcountry permit reservations, an itinerary for yourself, a shopping list for when you arrive in Montana, a copy of your backcountry trail info (so you don't have to take the whole book on your backpacking trip)

The Day Before Trip

Print your plane tickets

Processing My Food

2011-06-02T15:40:00.006-05:00

We're going to Glacier National Park in July. I've had a particular backpacking trip picked out for a couple of years, I've had a detailed itinerary of the entire trip since March, and now that we're just over a month and a half out, I'm designing a day-by-day meal plan. You might say that I am looking forward to it.

We'll be camping for 8 days and 7 nights, 3 days and 2 nights of which will be backpacking. When you think of backpacking, you think of getting away from civilization and busyness. Nature. Solitude. Simple living. The great irony of backpacking is that the food you eat while you're out there sleeping on the ground, peeing in the bushes and otherwise emulating creatures of the wild, is incredibly processed. That is, unless you take a "survival hike" as my father is known to do-- he takes only some nuts and beef jerky, forcing himself to fish, forage and lose weight. It's difficult to avoid processed foods, though, due to the unique challenge of no refrigeration and carrying on your back everything you need to live comfortably for a week.

This leads us to dehydrated food. Just-add-water food. It's not my usual choice, but I'm up for the challenge of making it as tasty and healthy as possible! After scouring backpacking cookbooks and then several grocery stores, it became clear to me that if I wanted to eat vegetables throughout our trip, I was going to have to dry them myself.

But wait...can't you buy fully dried meals at REI? Well, yes. But there are several problems with that:
1. They include sketchy ingredients like "ferric orthophosphate", "maltodextrin" and "dried torula yeast."
2. A packet that "serves 2" has 700 calories, and a 350 calorie dinner doesn't cut the mustard for me and my high metabolism.
3. Buying my meals already prepared is not hard core enough for my taste.

Using a borrowed dehydrator and Mary Bell's Complete Dehydrator Cookbook, I have begun experimenting. I have made apple leather, since it's supposed to be easy, and I dried some parsley. I am now attempting to dehydrate baked potatoes. I made potato flakes by cooking up some mashed potatoes from scratch and dehydrating them. Next I will dehydrate broccoli, bacon and chives.
Is it worth it? According to my calculations, baked potatoes for two cost me about $4.25. A pre-packaged dinner for two that leaves me feeling hungry goes for about $6.50. Nearly 35% savings on cost of food. That plus the fun factor make it overwhelmingly worth it. As for the taste factor, I have not yet tried any of the food I have dehydrated myself, but I have had the pre-packaged meals and I confidently conclude that this is a non-issue. I will, however, report back at a later date.

Veggie burger of my heart

2011-05-27T12:45:00.002-05:00

I made this veggie burger for dinner earlier this week, and I loved it so much, I want to share it. It's from the most current Eating Well magazine, and it's vegan. It holds together surprisingly well considering that there's no ingredient in particular holding it together. Makes 4 veggie burgers.

*2 tbsp sesame seeds
*1 tbsp ground coriander
*1 tbsp ground cumin
*canola oil
*4 scallions, chopped
*3 garlic cloves, minced
*15 oz. can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
*1 cup cooked brown rice
*2/3 cup wheat germ, divided
*3 tbsp lemon juice
*1/2 tsp salt
*pepper
*4 6-inch whole wheat pita breads, warmed
*tomato, sliced
*baby spinach
*plain yogurt

Heat a small skillet over low heat. Add sesame seeds and toast, stirring 2-4 minutes. Add coriander and cumin; cook until fragrant, 10-20 seconds more. Let cool. Grind in a spice mill or clean coffee grinder; set aside.

Add oil to the pan and heat over medium. Add scallions and garlic, cooking until softened. Set aside. Position rack in upper third of oven and preheat broiler.

Coarsely mash chickpeas in a medium bowl with a potato masher or fork. Stir in rice, 1/3 cup wheat germ, lemon juice, salt, pepper, reserved spice mixture and scallion mixture. Shape mixture into four 3/4" thick patties. Place the remaining wheat germ in a shallow dish and dredge the patties, pressing the wheat germ onto them firmly. Place the patties on a baking sheet with a Silpat and broil for 3 minutes, flip them over and broil 3 minutes more.

Tuck burgers into pitas with tomatoes, spinach and yogurt.

Process

2011-05-24T15:15:00.004-05:00

Ironically, yoga can be one of my greatest sources of anxiety. It's because I'm a teacher, and I want to be a really good teacher. I have two goals in my pursuit of becoming a really good teacher:

1. Actually developing the skills that a good teacher has
2. Being patient with myself in this process

In regards to number 1, being a yoga teacher is not that hard. Being a really good yoga teacher is. Good teachers have to be prepared when they get to class, but they also have to be prepared to change things on the spot, depending on the bodies that end up wandering into their class. Without actually being in the pose, they have to know exactly what a pose feels like and what tiny adjustments will take the pose to the next level for students. They have to know what a pose feels like for someone with a completely different body type, a completely different set of strengths and weaknesses. They have to know when to adjust a student and when to let the student figure it out on his own. When they adjust students and fix alignment, they have to do it in a way that is not perfunctory, it must make the student feel nurtured rather than uncomfortable, and they have to do it without disrupting the flow of the class. They have to know how to push students enough that they grow, but not so much that they risk injury. If this sounds easy, you'll just have to trust me that it's not. At least not in the first year.

Now number 2, being patient with myself. Like being a sophomore in high school, I feel like I'm in my awkward phase of being a teacher; I'm no longer new, and while I've got a grasp on things, I definitely do NOT have things all figured out. This spring I had to decide whether I wanted to pursue teaching in gyms or teaching in a studio. I chose to teach in a studio. The benefits of teaching at a studio are many: the students tend to be more dedicated and able-bodied, making them fun to teach, the other teachers tend to be more experienced, skilled, and passionate (an ideal environment for learning), and there's also the potential to make more money.

However, there are also drawbacks. The standards are higher at a studio, which can be more intimidating for a new teacher than a gym, especially if you tend to compare yourself to your peers. More dedicated, able-bodied students are pickier about whose class they take, so it bothers me that I don't have a lot of regular students at the studio. I don't believe that it's important to be able to do all the poses that require incredible flexibility or strength, and yet it bothers me to know that I may have the least advanced yoga practice of all the teachers at the studio. I've never been one to care much about money, but it bothers me that there is the potential to make decent money, and I don't. I desire verbal affirmation from my students after class because it makes me feel like I'm on the right track as a teacher. When I don't receive it, I doubt myself.

At the same time I know that it takes time to become established in a teaching style and within a community. When I am a "senior" teacher, I will be a better teacher than I am now as a "sophomore" teacher. It's a process, and there's no possible way I can have five years teaching experience unless I go through five years without it first. There is little instant gratification.

You can't take it with you...

2011-05-23T09:50:00.006-05:00

When we went over to Nana and Papa's the day that Papa died, Papa was still there. I'd never seen a dead person before, except for at my grandfather's funeral when I was six. It was both fascinating and a bit creepy to observe a body without a soul. What was once Papa was now just a shell resembling Papa.

It causes me great excitement to consider that Papa was having a conversation with Jesus before he passed. How miserable must it be to wonder where a loved one went when they died, or to believe that they went nowhere at all, but simply ceased existing. In the weeks since the funeral I've also wondered what it would be like to lose someone before you were ready for it. In Papa's case, most of the family was as emotionally prepared as possible, but when death is unexpected...I don't truly wish to know, but I do wonder.

I've also been considering, have seen Papa's body, the role of the physical body in our being. Physical bodies seem so important in the world I live in. In Austin, Texas people strive to look good, so they exercise and are careful about what they eat. They also strive to have optimal health to live long and comfortably in their bodies. There are running clubs, biking groups and yoga studios galore. People shop for local, unprocessed foods at Whole Foods and the farmer's markets, and alternatives to fast food like Snap Kitchen and My Fit Foods are all over. Health and fitness are HUGE here, and that doesn't even take into account the fact that I work in the fitness industry. In fact, if there was one thing I'd have to say is important to the majority of Austinites, I'd say it's caring for their physical bodies.

When Papa went, he left his physical body behind. And when I go, after all my hard work of eating healthily and staying fit, I too will leave my physical body behind. It's easy for me to understand that it is important to care for our bodies because they are something that we were given to care for. And it really does take significant effort to care well for bodies because these days all that is available to us is not necessarily good for us. It's not easy to know what is good for our bodies and what isn't. Also, most jobs these days do not have exercise built in. It requires effort to be fit and healthy. But, as with all good things, do we not tend to take this a bit too far?

I don't have any profound thoughts about this, but I do wonder how many of us invest more of our resources in our physical bodies than anything else. Do we act as though our physical bodies are the true cause of our lives? If I put more time, energy and money into my physical body than any other aspect of my being, does that mean that it's more important to me than any other aspect of my being, including the eternal aspect of my being? (This assumes that a person is past the state of simply trying to find enough food to survive, but is striving for maximum comfort, beauty, longevity, etc.)

2011-05-21T18:42:00.004-05:00

Dying is a part of life. A little over two weeks ago, David's grandfather, Lieutenant Colonel A.J. Rantal (aka Archibald John Rantala, Art, or Papa), passed away at 91 years old. He served as a pilot in the U.S. Air Force from 1941 to 1961, was married for 66 years, had three children, ten grandchildren and six great-grandchildren. He lived a long, full life and was loved by many. He died quietly in his home, and he has surely passed on to be in heaven with Jesus. And yet...his death was sad. At his funeral especially I felt a sadness that I can't quite put words or reasons to. Even under the best possible circumstances, death is sad. We weren't made for this, and even though "everyone dies", deep down we feel that death is not right.

The hospice nurse who was with him at the very end said that at one point he was sitting up in bed, gazing upward and speaking to someone. His words were unintelligible, but he was clearly carrying on a conversation. She said she'd seen that before, but that it didn't always happen. We mourn the death of Papa, but we don't despair because he is not lost.

Having. Feelings.

2011-04-23T11:52:00.006-05:00

I was grumpy this morning, but didn't know why. No lack of sleep, allergies or other type of physical discomfort, so there must be something else going on.

"I don't know why I'm so cranky," I said to David. "I'm just having feelings."

Feelings seem to sneak up on me. Most of the time I'm feeling fine, satisfied, generally good. Then all of a sudden I'm having feelings and it's not clear exactly what they are or what's causing them. I'm talking about negative feelings here; positive feelings are not usually confusing for me.

I talked at David for a few minutes, in attempt to identify the nature of my feelings, then David prayed for me. I think he hit the nail on the head. I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was something about living life to its fullest. A lot of my dissatisfaction comes from feeling like I'm not living life to its fullest.

But I think I'm constantly misunderstanding what it means to live life to its fullest. When I look at my Facebook news feed I begin to feel like living life to its fullest means "checking in" somewhere and tagging a few friends who are there with me. I begin to feel like its taking photos doing cool things and being silly with friends. I begin to think that living life to its fullest means being busy, having an active social life and having something to show for my time.

In reality, when you're living life to its fullest, one result may be having an active social life. But having an active social life does not imply living life to its fullest. This is where the confusion sets in, I start going after the wrong things and am repeatedly disappointed.

Last Sunday Martin Ban of Christ Church in Santa Fe preached at All Saints. He was in town to speak at our church's men's retreat, with the topic being "Holy Risk." I really recommend listening to his talks, which are posted on the All Saints website. Risk, I think, is really what living life to its fullest is all about. The risk Martin Ban talks about is the risk of opening yourself up to other people. Being open and ready to invite people into your life, and being open and ready to accept invitations from others. He talks about being open to receive anybody, especially people with whom a relationship seems unlikely. The risks of this are great: you risk rejection from the people you open yourself up to, you risk rejection from friends who don't think you should be doing that, you risk being misunderstood. But the rewards are also great. Who ever lived life to its fullest by always doing what's easiest and most comfortable?

At Long Last!

2011-04-13T11:28:00.004-05:00

I have never "targeted" a pose before now. I've never been motivated to practice a pose for the sake of being able to do it and ever since I took my first yoga class four years ago, it has never bothered me if I couldn't do a pose. Every so often I realize that my body has become stronger and more flexible because I am able to do a pose that I wasn't previously able to do, or I'm able to hold it longer, deeper and with more ease. But I've never pushed and willed myself to get there. Most poses I've attempted regularly come to me eventually...except for headstand. Headstand is not an "easy" yoga posture, but it is a basic one, so as a yoga teacher, the fact that I'd never done an unsupported headstand was my skeleton in the closet. A month or two ago I decided that I was no longer satisfied letting the headstand practice come to me. I pursued it.

I began to practice headstand for about 15 minutes about once a week. I set myself up about 8 inches from the wall so that I wouldn't use the wall as a crutch, but it would be there to catch me if I began to tumble. It has been an interesting process. Each headstand session feels a little easier, and I get a little farther each time. I have no more head-knowledge of the pose now than I did two months ago, but I can feel my body learning.

Now my hips slide easily over my shoulders and I can pick my feet up off the floor almost effortlessly. Yesterday I achieved my first headstand without tipping back and hitting my heels on the wall first. Today I held it, a little teeter-tottery, but I held it! When I feel a bit more stable and consistent I will incorporate headstand into my classroom practice. Wahoo, headstand at last!

Believing Lies

2011-04-03T16:38:00.006-05:00

This is an interesting passage from A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, a New Age book that was required reading from my yoga training. The way the word "ego" is used in this book is similar to the way we in the church talk about sin of the heart:

A shy person who is afraid of the attention of others is not free of ego, but has an ambivalent ego that both wants and fears attention from others. The fear is that the attention may take the form of disapproval or criticism, that is to say, something that diminishes the sense of self rather than enhances it. So the shy person's fear of attention is greater than his or her need of attention. Shyness often goes with a self-concept that is predominantly negative, the belief of being inadequate. Any conceptual sense of self-- seeing myself as this or that-- is ego, whether predominantly positive (I am the greatest) or negative (I am no good). Behind every positive self-concept is the hidden fear of not being good enough. Behind every negative self-concept is the hidden desire of being the greatest or better than others. Behind the confident ego's feeling of and continuing need for superiority is the unconscious fear of inferiority. Conversely, the shy, inadequate that feels inferior has a strong hidden desire for superiority. Many people fluctuate between feelings of inferiority and superiority, depending on situations or the people they come into contact with. All you need to know and observe in yourself is this: Whenever you feel superior or inferior to anyone, that's the ego in you.

This goes along nicely with what a local yoga teacher wrote on her blog recently:

I was driving to teach the other morning as the new day’s breeze kissed my face and the strands of my hair danced with that very breeze and then it came to me…

The notion that I am unloved or unsupported by people or by the Universe itself is an illusion. It’s a lie.

My body filled with so much joy but a calm, quiet joy; so much tenderness for the part of me that ever felt or believed, even once, otherwise.

I understand this yoga teacher's sentiments. One of the blessings of being (happily) married is that I don't really have times when I feel completely "unloved by people". However, in my experience, it doesn't always feel like enough to know that there are people who love me. I can still feel lonely and undesirable. I am blessed to have, upon occasion, felt and really understood that God loves me, that he always has and always will, and that's enough. But I'm forgetful. I have this tendency to believe that I don't already have access to that satisfying love. I tend to believe that the approval and acceptance of other people will give me the love that I think I'm missing. It's a lie, whispered in my ear by dear Wormwood...

Second Step

2011-03-30T16:42:00.004-05:00

I took a big step this week regarding the personal issues I mentioned before...I went and talked to someone (besides David) in person. She's about 10 years older than me, I've known her for a while, she's easy to talk to, and I trust her, so although I don't have a close personal relationship with her, I went and told her the things about myself that trouble me.

I'm glad that I did. It felt hard but good to finally admit to someone in person that I fear people. Not only that, but she offered to continue getting together with me so I can practice making myself vulnerable with her. She suggested I practice being open and vulnerable with other people as well, pinpointing particular friends with whom I get along with well and trying harder to become involved in a small group at church, since I haven't been in one for almost a year. Lastly, she told me to consider counseling. Not because I or my problems are abnormal, but because sometimes we just need someone to help us connect the dots in our lives. Our lives are a trajectory, there are patterns and habits, both healthy and unhealthy. Our problems are always either getting better or getting worse, and if we don't deal with them, they don't go away or stay the same, they get worse. So the problems that seem unfortunate, but manageable now will, farther down the trajectory of our lives, become deep and magnified, seemingly beyond all help (we call this "baggage"). Counseling before things are complete chaos can keep small things from becoming big things.

Interesting advice. I must admit that I feel a little bit sorry for my friends that I'm "targeting", but that's really what friends are for, isn't it?

Tea-licious

2011-03-23T16:23:00.003-05:00

Exciting news! I went to Savory Spice Shop today and told them how much I liked the chai tea spice blend that I bought there a month ago, and they gave me the recipe! It's VERY tasty, and I highly recommend it. This recipe makes 7 cups.

*2 bay leaves
*2 cinnamon sticks
*2 pieces sliced crystallized ginger
*6 green cardamom pods
*1 tsp whole fennel
*1 tsp whole anise
*1/2 tsp whole ceylon cloves
*1/4 tsp whole tellicherry peppercorns

Wrap the spices in cheese cloth. Bring 7 cups of water to a boil. Reduce heat to simmer and place bag of spices in the water for 5 minutes. Turn off the heat and allow spices to steep for 15 minutes. Turn the heat on to low and add 2 tbsp black tea, stir in 1 cup milk and 1 tsp honey and heat until almost boiling. Turn off the heat and discard the bag of spices and tea.

It tastes wonderful hot, but also over ice, so if you have leftovers, just store it in the fridge!

Yoga Sutra Cafe

2011-03-23T11:09:00.005-05:00

I grabbed a pillow and went into the little room with walls painted green. There were several others there: two older gentlemen (I'd estimate that both are in their 70s), a man in his late 20s or 30s, and a gal in her 30s with long black hair and bangs. She seemed to be running the show. My two friends and I arranged our pillows on the floor, joining the circle, and then sat down. I didn't really know what to expect; Emili invited us to this Meetup she had stumbled upon, and I came mostly to be sociable.

The Meetup was called "Yoga Sutra Cafe." Simply put, a "sutra" is an aphorism. Literally, it means "a thread that holds things together" (think "sew" or "suture"). So, although sutras are short sentences that seem to be able to stand alone, they are meant to be understood in the context of a body of sutras. The yoga sutras were compiled and ordered by a guy named Patanjali during the second century B.C., and they serve as the scripture of yoga. So yes...I basically went to a yoga Bible study.

We began with some chanting in Sanskrit, a first for me. Dara, our leader, told us that the meanings of the words were unimportant, but rather the sounds and vibrations themselves were the point of the chanting. I tried to pay close attention to the sounds, and they were very beautiful, but I felt a bit cheated when I found out the meaning of the words. I had not wanted to say that I bowed to Patanjali, but I'm comforted knowing that with my pronunciation, I probably didn't actually say it.

After the chanting, Dara gave a review of the first 11 sutras (there are 196) for us newbies, and that took up the rest of the time.

The more I learn about yoga (and consequently, Buddhism), the more I'm amazed at how much truth it has to offer. A year ago I was wondering whether or not I should pursue yoga more deeply, fearing for my spiritual welfare. I did some research, and although I concluded that yogic philosophy is not spiritually neutral, as it claims to be, I felt comfortable taking a teacher training. During my teacher training, much of the mystery and weirdness of yogic tradition was cleared, and I actually found value in much of it. I discovered that Buddhism was not crazy (I didn't really believe it was before, I just didn't have the knowledge to know that it wasn't). In fact, most of its teachings are identical to the teachings of the Bible, and the concepts that are not identical are similar.

The difference between Buddhism and Christianity that makes all the difference in the world is the belief about the fundamental state of man. Buddhists believe that the world is not broken, but only appears broken. There is only goodness and light and everything is as it should be, but our personal badness or the badness of the world is the result of our lack of knowledge or misunderstanding of the knowledge we have. It's like we're looking into a shattered mirror and believe that the brokenness we see is the reality, when in fact we're not broken, but are completely whole.

Christians believe that there is no mirror, and the brokenness we see is the reality. To say that something is broken implies that it used to be whole, and that is the way it was intended to be. In a broken world, everything, including every person, is infected with a brokenness that we call sin. The goodness we see in people and the world is the remnant of the way things used to be, the way things are supposed to be.

For me, yoga is one of those things that is not completely correct, it's a bit broken, just like the rest of the world, but I see so many shards of goodness and truth shining through it. I'm not sure where I'm going with this...all I know is that knowledge is power (and conversely, ignorance is the root of fear). The more I learn, the freer and more confident I feel that I can be a Christian and practice yoga.

New Gig

2011-03-16T16:40:00.005-05:00

I don't think that I ever officially announced that I quit working at Austin Java. Well, I did. My last work day was about mid-January, and I've been trying to make it full-time as a yoga instructor since then. One of my new gigs is Antigravity Yoga, which I tried for the first time and became certified to teach in February.

Antigravity yoga (not really yoga) is a type of "suspension fitness" using special hammocks to flip, turn upside down and other fun things. It started in New York and Fit to the Core, where I'm teaching, is the first studio in Texas to offer it.

It has been nice to switch things up a bit from my regular yoga practice, as I still have a lot of learning to do with these hammocks. It has also been a lot of fun teaching, as always.

Where Have the Good Men Gone?

2011-03-15T15:24:00.005-05:00

Clearly my zeal for writing blog posts comes in waves. I've just been reading and writing and thinking about so many things that I think are interesting to share, and I usually never get around to it, but now I'm making a special effort to share.

I'm fascinated by the phenomenon of "generations", and naturally, I'm particularly interested in learning about the characteristics of my own generation. When I worked at Curves I learned that Baby Boomers refuse to become old. According to this Wall Street Journal article, my generation, Generation Y, and especially the males, are refusing to become adults. The article is called Where Have the Good Men Gone?

The article argues that men in their twenties are growing older, but not more mature. Instead of being married with a job and children, the typical 25 year old man these days more resembles an over-grown frat boy, Adam Sandler type who barely manages to take care of himself. According to the article, women are becoming increasingly unamused with the selection of potential spouses and are turning toward careers rather than family to build their identities.

I can definitely think of some real-life parallels to the people described in the article, although I would be remiss if I didn't say that my husband David is not at all like the males the article describes. In fact, I think David might have been born an adult. He's the only 25 year old I know who gets excited when people mistake him for a man in his 30s.

I'm interested to know if this article rings a bell with others. The article sheds a negative light on the state of "pre-adult" males, but is it bad? Is it good? Some of both?

Fear

2011-03-14T16:52:00.003-05:00

David and I saw The King's Speech last week. It was amazing how many of the actors had also appeared in Harry Potter movies. There must not be very many English actors. The reluctant King George VI hated public speaking, which is highly unfortunate because that seems to be the bulk of a king's job. He had a stammer, which was more pronounced when he was nervous or highly emotional. All his adult life he sought help from therapists, to no avail. The movie is about his relationship with the speech therapist that was able to help him. As they became friends, the speech therapist helped the king realize that his stammer went deeper than his public speaking jitters. Rather, the king experienced the world with a fearful heart, and this was manifested through his lost voice.

The movie has affected me because I very much identified with the king. Being afraid, ironically, is my biggest fear. And in many ways, I'm really not afraid. I'm not afraid to try things I've never done, I'm not afraid to jump off high places, I'm not afraid of moving to a place I don't know anyone, I'm not afraid to meet and be around people who are different than me, I'm not afraid of being poor. But I am afraid of people. Not all people, but many people.

All my life I have felt like I didn't quite "fit" with any of the various groups I've been a part of, although I usually managed to feel connected with a few individuals within the groups. I have struggled with social anxiety since at least middle school, and as an adult, one of my biggest pains is that I have extreme difficulty making close friends. I have many friendly acquaintances, but it has been a while since I've made a close friend.

I've also always felt that I am more than I am. I feel like I have all this potential, but I can't tap it. I am almost a very useful person, but this quality of fear strangles much of my usefulness.

What I am afraid of? I'm afraid I won't be cool enough or holy enough or smart enough or funny enough for people to like me. What exactly I'm afraid of depends on the group or person, but it all comes down to being afraid of rejection. Some may respond to fear of rejection by trying to seem cool or holy or smart or funny, but I respond by recoiling. You can't be rejected if you don't put yourself out there, after all. But you can't be known, loved and accepted if you don't put yourself out there either.

Abraham Lincoln said, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Maybe this quote is intended for people who have the opposite problem, the problem of thinking too little about what they do and say, rather than thinking too much about they do or say. I prefer this quote by Elbert Hubbard (whoever that is): "The greatest mistake a man can ever make is being afraid to make one."

This is why I need to learn to be open. While this may be highly personal, I believe that openly acknowledging my difficulty in this area is a good first step.

In hiding

2011-03-14T16:26:00.005-05:00

I have, at long last, decided that I need to be more open. Since I'm not in the habit of being particularly open, I'm not quite sure how, so I'm starting with this blog. A blog is a less risky way begin because of the anonymity. People can read or not read, they can read part and then quit in the middle, and I'll only know if they tell me. Similarly, since I don't know who reads my blog, it's like writing to an anonymous person.

Many are of the opinion that people share too much over the internet, but I am not afraid of this. Whether it's a good or bad thing, people are doing more and more communicating over the internet, and it's no longer "weird" for an average person's personal life to be available on the web. Besides, why do we censor the things we say when we're talking in person? What makes some things "too personal" to share? Social norms. Social norms tell us that it's inappropriate to let others see what's going on in our inner lives. Social norms tell us to only show the good parts of ourselves and we do our darndest not to let weaknesses show. And yet, it's common knowledge that we all have our inner demons. When it comes to our weaknesses, we either don't mention it, or we fake it. Deviation from these social norms subjects you to judgment by others (which, I think it's safe to say, no one likes). However, if I believe that God's judgments are the only ones that matter, and he already knows everything about me, then what do I have to fear in being open and honest? As long as the things I share are not destructive to others, what reason have I to hide myself?

So this is my official warning for readers who don't really want to know the dirty ins and outs, the things I think and the things I struggle with. You may want to proceed with caution, but the good news is that you're anonymous so it won't hurt my feelings :-)

Lent

2011-03-13T13:57:00.007-05:00

"Lent is like an ellipse: It is a single entity with a double focus. The Forty Days are (a) a time for probing consideration of our human condition, including sin and its deadly consequences for both individuals and society, and (b) a time for an equally intense consideration of the new possibilities offered to us in Jesus Christ and their implications for practical living... We begin with penitence: an acknowledgment of our rebellion against God and our alienation from God's whole creation. We move on to the fruits of repentance: the amendment of life that results when we turn around and by God's grace head in a new direction."

-Laurence Hull Stookey, "Calendar: Christ's Time for the Church"

Usually when I think of Lent, I think of it as a time of deprivation. A time that's solemn and only worth the pain because we know that Easter is coming. Curiously, this year Lent has felt a bit like New Year's Day to me, which is a far sunnier outlook than I've had before. Some of my weaknesses have become glaringly obvious to me in the past month or so, which sometimes gets me down. However, I feel as though betterment is not only imperative, but also possible. An exciting thought.

The quote above was printed in our church bulletin this morning, the first Sunday of Lent. In the sermon, we looked at Matthew 4: 1-11, which is when Jesus was tempted in the wilderness after 40 days and 40 nights of fasting. Satan tempted Jesus with three things: bread (after all, he'd been fasting for 40 days!), honor and an easier way to do things. And of course, Jesus resists temptation.

Our pastor pointed out that these three things are actually good things, and that most things we're tempted by are good things, gifts from God. The danger in these good things is confusing that which is good with that which is ultimate. We tend to seek the gifts rather than God, and we seek to obtain these treasured good things on our own rather than trusting that they will come by God's hand, on God's timetable.

What are the good things that you seek? I seek approval and praise. Affirmation. I want it at every opportunity and in every venue possible, which is interesting, because I often don't believe that I will ever actually attain it. I seek affirmation before I seek God, which, in the end, renders me incapable of experiencing the rich, satisfying affirmation that is of God. Instead I am left grasping for anything and everything else, hopelessly hoping that my desire might be quelled.

Well that was wholly depressing. Such is the state of mankind, but lent is not all about being depressed. As the quote above states, the focus of Lent is twofold; sobering reflection is necessary, but it is incomplete without a turning away from ourselves and toward God, "amendment of life." The truth is that because Jesus died and rose again, I am no longer a slave to my desire for affirmation. Sometimes it feels like it controls me and I act as though I am a slave to it, but in reality, I am able to change. I am able to seek God first.

I think it's most appropriate that Lent comes at the beginning of spring. After the desolate winter (at least, that's how winter always feels to me), there is new life and with that, hope. May this Lent season be a thoughtful, fruit-bearing one for you.

I love camping.

2011-03-12T13:19:00.003-06:00

I just washed seven layers of dirt, dead skin cells, fire smoke and sunscreen off my skin. It's been a while since I've gone more than 1% of a year without a shower!

Whim

2011-02-23T15:38:00.003-06:00

I baked cookies today instead of attending a yoga class. It was a last minute decision. I've been working hard to save money by cooking at home as much as possible, and I've been working hard to build up a pool of practical, healthy yet tasty recipes that I will be able to utilize in the future (results of my efforts are here). It's been a while since I made something on a whim, just because I wanted to. Mmmm, it feels good.

Just Courage

2011-02-15T10:50:00.004-06:00

David and I have been watching the Harry Potter movies, and I've asked him, probably three times now, which Hogwarts house he thinks he'd be in if he went to Hogwarts. I mostly ask this because I wonder which house I would be in (it's totally obvious that David would be in Gryffindor, but to my chagrin, I suspect that I would be in Hufflepuff). Harry Potter is in Gryffindor, the action-oriented house that values courage, bravery, loyalty, nerve and chivalry. True to form, Harry displays tremendous courage and bravery in each movie, and it leaves me wondering what I would do in a truly scary situation. Would I be brave or play it safe? I wonder if I'll ever know?

I finished reading Just Courage yesterday, a book written by the CEO of International Justice Mission (IJM), which is a non-profit organization that sends detectives and lawyers into countries where the justice system fails to uphold their own laws. They aim to free slaves from forced labor and sex trafficking, and then to end those practices altogether.

The way this man thinks speaks to me. Here are a few quotes that I like (which also basically summarize the entire book):

"There is nothing wrong with the day we Christians are reliving; it's just the same, mostly harmless routine of errands and pleasant exchanges."

"I sense among Christians today a subtle but deep discontent...at the end of the day we thought our Christian life would be more than this-- somehow larger, more significant, more vivid, more glorious."

"Would you rather be safe or brave?"

"We fret over what might happen to our stuff, our reputation, our standing, our children, our ideology and our investments, and in the process we forget that we have these things so we can live fully for Christ. All the things we value were never meant to be safeguarded. They were meant to be put at risk and spent, for we are in a life and death battle."

"We can't have adventure, miracles, faith and a deep knowledge of Jesus while holding on to comfort, security, control and success."

"In different times and in different ways, our heavenly father offers us a simple proposition: follow me beyond what you can control, beyond where your own strength and competencies can take you, and beyond what is affirmed or risked by the crowd-- and you will experience me and my power and my wisdom and my love."

Review

2011-01-25T13:45:00.009-06:00

We had a wonderful long weekend in Boston, experiencing the ice
and the cold,
visiting with dear Bill and Jennifer,
encountering American history,
and celebrating David's birthday with ice cream and brownies,
cannolis,
and donuts.
Back in Austin for less than 24 hours, everyday reality has struck me square in the forehead as I called my insurance provider to check on the progress of straightening out a misunderstanding I'd had several weeks before with the person who sold me my new dental plan. I first logged in to the website, which had no information about my specific account. Then I called the customer service number on the back of my insurance card, and after communicating with a machine discovered that the status of my account was the same as it has been a week and a half before. I spent the next several minutes trying to convince the machine that I needed to speak with an actual person. When it was finally appeased, I spent 20 minutes on hold, waiting for the next available call taker. I spoke with the call taker for 30 seconds before the call taker determined that I had called the wrong customer service number and transferred me to a different department. I waited on hold for 20 more minutes. As soon as I finished explaining my predicament to the person who could presumably help me, the call was dropped. I'm not sure why the call was dropped, maybe I accidentally hit the "end" button, but just the same, I had to start all over. When the whole thing was over, I had been on the phone for over an hour and spoken to 4 different people.

While I was slightly frustrated that the misunderstanding had happened in the first place, I was dismayed that the process of setting everything right was SO cumbersome. I found myself dying for an outlet to tell someone about my experience so that the inefficiencies could be addressed. Still, I have the suspicion that this is not an unusual experience when dealing with insurance companies. My insurance company, United Healthcare, is a huge firm, and it makes you feel a bit like you've been lost in the masses. Has anyone ever had a similar experience, or is communicating with your insurance company relatively easy?

I don't usually read reviews (I admit I'm thinking mostly of restaurants) because I don't trust that the reviewers have the same preferences I have, but I see the value of consumer feedback for businesses to know how to change for the better. When it comes to communicating with an insurance company, there MUST be a better way to do things, so here is my review of United Healthcare: While all United Healthcare representatives I've ever spoken with have been courteous and pleasant, I found navigating the United Healthcare web of websites and phone numbers and automated services to be complicated and taxing.

Moving Meditation

2011-01-07T15:20:00.003-06:00

I just had the most amazing yoga class. The teacher led us through a crazy series of planks and side plank variations, reverse half moons, vinyasas and chair poses. On several occasions I found myself questioning whether or not this could really be happening, if she could actually be taking us through all of these difficult poses in a single class, if she was actually taking us through that difficult series again.

In spite of my doubts about the reality of it all, and in spite of my right wrist (which has held the title of Whiniest Joint in My Body for about six months now), I found that I was not dying, but thriving. It was not easy, but there was no violent shaking as we held plank for the 500th time, I never felt the need or desire to modify or take a break, and I never got annoyed with the teacher (which is a miracle considering the amount of core work we did). As I walked home, I thought about the class and assessed how I felt now that it was over. I'm not at all tired, and I know I'll feel only slightly sore tomorrow, if at all.

Our bodies were made to move, and with a practice of lengthening, strengthening and twisting, my body feels like a well-oiled machine. It reminds me of the experience I had playing with my childhood soccer team. I played on the same team from second grade through high school, and beginning about sixth grade, we really had something special. The players were in sync with one another; we had a plan and we were usually able to execute. When the plan was interrupted, we were conditioned enough, practiced enough to recover gracefully. Everything just worked.

This must be a little taste of heaven, everything working the way it's supposed to, everything in tune with everything else and no little hiccups or tweaks along the way...

The Year of Pie

2011-01-03T13:02:00.002-06:00

My sister sent me this NPR piece about the world of food in this new year. The predictions make 2011 look very promising. Hooray for pie and vegetables!

Cupcakes are Dead. Long Live the Pie!
January 2, 2011

Every year, I predict the death of the cupcake. I'm always wrong.

But this year, they'll have real competition from the humble pie. Trend-spotters are calling pie the food of the year. Texas and New York restaurants offer pie happy hours. Pies are showing up at weddings, and pie shops are opening in a neighborhood near you. Pies come in sweet and savory, maxi and mini, deep dish and deep-fried.

If pies are the new cupcakes, New York Magazine says, vegetables are the new meat.

No more the supporting actors. Vegetables are stars. Remember food guru Michael Pollan's mantra? "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." It's getting some serious traction.

And when Mario Batali — the prince of pork — embraces meatless Mondays, you know the times they are a-changing.

One of the most glam vegetables will be kale. Look for the frilly bouquet of slightly bitter, dark greens both cooked and raw in a salad.

Root vegetables, meanwhile, are the new heirlooms. These gnarled vegetables such as salsify, Jerusalem artichokes and celery root are about to step onto the food fashion runway.

Child nutrition is definitely on the national radar screen. Childhood obesity has been called the new tobacco. We'll see top chefs in school cafeterias and more healthful choices on kids' menus in restaurants.

At the same time, junk food is going upscale. I have reports of foie gras wrapped in cotton candy and restaurant-made Cheeto-like snacks.

After years of gourmet hamburgers, hot dogs may be the new popular kids. They're moving from street carts to brick-and-mortar buildings. Watch for them on your block.

Recipe: Maple-Apple Pie With Brown Sugar Crust

From the Kitchen Window column

We'll also see more pop-up restaurants. Chefs find underused restaurant space and take it over for a few days a week. Of course, they use the freshest, most local ingredients and reservations are hard to get, increasing their cachet. Sort of like speakeasies.

And food halls like the one at Harrods in London are opening in the U.S.

Mario Batali and the Bastianich restaurant family recently opened Eataly, a 50,000 square foot shrine to Italian food in New York City. And the Plaza Hotel now houses the Plaza Food Hall, a food hall-cum-food court. Watch for other European-style food markets in California and Washington, D.C.

Whatever you eat, save room for a slice of pie.

Bonny Wolf is author of Talking With My Mouth Full and editor of NPR's Kitchen Window.

Ghost

2010-12-29T11:17:00.003-06:00

Since teaching yoga has complicated my availability for working at Austin Java, I've been working only one shift each week; Tuesday is my night at Austin Java. The restaurant began staying open for dinner just recently, so traffic is very light during that time. In fact, from 7pm to close I am the only employee out front. All this changes the experience of working there significantly.

At night, Austin Java seems like just a shadow of what it is during the day. When I think of Austin Java, I think of people bustling in and out, or my coworkers standing around talking. At night the restaurant looks just the same, the music plays like always, but there are no customers and no coworkers. It reminds me a bit of The Langoliers, the movie of a Stephen King story that I saw when I was 10 years old. In the story, some people on an airplane get caught in the recent past where there are no people (because they are all in the present), only places and things. The only seemingly living things they encounter are the Langoliers, creatures that eat up the past.

It's a little bit creepy, a lot solitary. Now that I've come to expect it, I like it, in a way. I just can't seem to give Austin Java up, and a weird, solitary Austin Java is better than no Austin Java.

The Aftermath

2010-12-28T09:21:00.007-06:00

Home again, home again, after a lovely Christmas holiday. Our hearts, bellies and suitcases left Plano fuller than when we arrived on Wednesday, and now we're sorting through everything, trying to get back to normal.

I will be attending my first yoga class in a week, which is somewhat daunting. The first class after a break always feels like the first class of my entire life, which leads me to an important question: is having a healthy lifestyle all it's cracked up to be? I eat a healthy diet, exercise most every day, my jobs keep me active the rest of the time and I almost always sleep at least 8 hours a night. It's everything that everyone says you should be doing to feel good and ensure long-term health, but I find that I simply fall apart during the holidays.

I have no moral problems with taking a break from my healthy habits for the holidays, my problems are physical. I just feel weird after a couple of days of staying up late, sitting around and eating pie and mint M&Ms and cookies. Food ceased to taste good, I began to have aches in my lower back and I felt tired. Even my skin began to feel weird. Is this what it's like to be old?

A gal from my church who is a nurse and has gone on many mission trips to foreign countries said that she's noticed that the people who have the most strict diets tend to be the ones who get sick on mission trips. Similarly, I've heard that (based on observation, not scientific experiment) people who live in ultra-clean houses get sick more than people who don't.

So what conclusion am I to draw from this? If I am keenly aware of the effects of being sedentary, decadent eating and irregular sleep after just a few days, does that mean I'm more in tune with my body than those who don't notice? Is this just the tension of being healthy in an unhealthy world? Or does it mean that I've babied myself so much that I can't handle deviation from my normal practice? Maybe I just didn't have enough to keep me busy, so I spent all my energy dissecting every little feeling I had?

Last Tomato

2010-12-24T12:02:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas, from the Casterland Farms last tomato of the season! (Picked after the frost, and has been ripening on our counter top since then.)

Happy Winter!

2010-12-21T14:00:00.002-06:00

Happy winter, solstice, full moon and lunar eclipse! We kicked off the new season by waking up in the middle of the night to witness the full lunar eclipse, but instead we saw the reflection of the city lights off the clouds.

Today is the last day of work before Christmas vacation, and it's simply gorgeous outside-- it reminds me of early summer in northern California (except maybe warmer). If it weren''t for NPR, we in Austin would be totally oblivious to the crazy rainstorms out west and the very wintry weather in the northeast. I'm enjoying shorts and sunshine today!

How Do Things Start?

2010-11-03T15:11:00.004-05:00

You may or may not have noticed (depending on if anyone besides me reads this) that I haven't posted anything in a while. This is because I've been very busy, which is not my favorite way to be, but sometimes it's necessary. Since yoga training ended, I've been out there finding and creating (and being randomly offered) opportunities for myself to teach yoga, and I've been fairly successful in scoring gigs.

The tricky thing, I'm finding, is getting students to come to the public classes. In particular, I'm thinking of my twice weekly class at Space 12. Space 12 is a community center on the east side of town that I first heard about because Frances got married there. It has a grass-roots feel, and it's the meeting place for several nonprofits, the neighborhood association, art shows, the occasional film screening or concert. Today I held my fifth morning yoga class there, and so far only one person (who doesn't work at Space 12) has both heard about the class and come. I know that this is how it goes when you start something up, but now what? The class is on the Space 12 website, it was featured in their October newsletter, it's advertised on a banner outside the center, I've made Facebook invites and I advertise it on my Facebook status, I've told everyone I know and put up flyers in local coffee shops.

I can think of several reasons it hasn't caught on. One is the location. When I think of the eastside, I think of young hipsters riding their bikes to the coffee shop where they will write poetry. It's home to the East Austin Art Tour, many of the homes on the Chicken Coop Tour, community gardens and lots of trendy food trailers. It sounds like the perfect place to hold yoga classes...but most of what I think of when I think of the eastside is the gentrified eastside, and Space 12 is about a mile outside of that.

Another reason I think it hasn't caught on is because nothing else goes on at Space 12 before about 10:30am. None of the people who use Space 12 already are accustomed to being there in the morning and since no one is there, no one sees that a class is going on.

It has crossed my mind that 9am may not be a good time, but I've ruled that out as something significant to consider right now. Although many people are at work at 9am, I've been to plenty of well-attended 9am classes at various venues.

Is it a waiting game now, or what else can I do?

RYT

2010-09-01T18:20:00.004-05:00

At long last, I finished my yoga training program on Sunday! I am now officially a Registered Yoga Teacher, and my first public class is tomorrow at Black Swan Yoga!

My Husband, the Piper

2010-08-10T10:39:00.004-05:00

The other awesome thing about yesterday was that David graduated from the bagpipes practice chanter to the bagpipes! He serenaded me last night as the sun was setting.

Sun-baked Cookie Experiment

2010-08-09T19:34:00.005-05:00

I've been on a hiatus from writing blog posts (and doing things about which I might blog) due to the time commitment of my yoga training program. Each week we have yoga homework, for example one week it was to modify every yoga pose possible in all of our classes, another week it was to make a "dream line" (goal setting, basically) and then visualize ourselves doing those things. This week has been designated The Week of Healing, so after two months of 7 yoga classes per week and 15-ish additional hours of training each weekend, we're supposed to back off our physical training and pamper our bodies as we see fit.

So instead of going to a yoga class today, I had a fabulous massage, given by my fabulous next door neighbor Kathleen, who is a massage therapist. Then, instead of reading our book assignment or practice teaching poses, I made cookies.

Ever since the spring, I've been eagerly anticipating 100+ degree days. Temperatures in the 90s are common in the spring and the fall, but when it's 100 degrees, you know it can only be summer. Those are the days that you feel guilty for going to work because you know that you're really supposed to be out swimming. And from what I hear, these are also the days that your car can double for an oven.

So how does that old saying go? When life gives you 100 degree days, bake cookies on your car's dashboard? Well, here we go:

11:45am: Placing the sugar cookie dough on the dashboard. The Weather Channel says that it's only 90 degrees right now, but it feels like 95, so hopefully that's hot enough to get things started.
3:30pm: Going to run some errands. Wow, it smells awesome in the car! I wish I had some socks to put on my hands as I touch the steering wheel.

5:15pm: I feel like these things should be done by now. These cookies are coming inside with me!

7pm: After dinner. David tries a cookie.He likes it!Why I recommend baking cookies in your car:
*homemade baked goods without your oven heating up your house
*efficient use of resources by utilizing the sun's free energy that would not otherwise be used (you may even go so far as to call these "green cookies")
*improved quality of driving, due to baking cookie aroma
*low risk of burning the cookies
*great character-building exercise (good things come to those who wait)

Tomato Season

2010-07-01T13:15:00.004-05:00

Garden-fresh tomatoes are the order of the season...Tomato salad with Roma, cherry, green zebra, purple Cherokee, yellow pear and sungolds...Eggplant tomato mozzarella stacks...Tomato-bread soup...The tomatoes in these photos are from Casterland Farms in central Austin and the Buescher family garden in Elgin.

Yoga Homework

2010-06-17T10:58:00.001-05:00

I have completed the first of 11 installments (also known as "weekends") of yoga teacher training, and I have come away with a lot of enthusiasm and many unconventional homework assignments. I have to drink at least a gallon of water every day, fast from all breast milk (i.e. dairy products) until Sunday, perform a series of conditioning exercises (including such classics as Tiger Whirlwinds and Tibetan Body Pounding) first thing every morning, switch a bracelet from one of my wrists to the other every time I complain about something, and I have to write a daily journal entry.

The last of my assignments is to contemplate 'love', what it is and how it is expressed. So what is love? It's so basic to the human experience, and yet very difficult to define. Upon consideration, I decided that love is a noun, but it is inextricably linked with verbs. Like gravity, love is a force*. You can't see it, but we all know it exists and know that it matters because of the actions it causes.

The Bible offers a good characterization of love:
"Love is patient and kind; love does not boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Using this characterization, love is possible between family members, lovers, friends and even strangers.

Questions I have:
Is love strictly relational? Can you love yourself? Can you love a hobby or a place, or when we say, "I love yoga!" or "I love Austin!" is that really "liking a lot" or "enjoying a lot"? Is "liking/enjoying a lot" love?

*the definition of 'force' being, "a person or thing regarded as exerting influence" (Oxford American Dictionary)

Summer Reading

2010-06-11T13:34:00.004-05:00

Inspired by the All Saints summer reading list blog post, I decided (once again) that I needed to re-discover the joys of reading for pleasure. Since I'm quite out of the habit, I wanted to start with something easy to read, probably a New York Times bestseller. I looked up a few titles on the Austin public Library online catalogue with no luck, and then remembered a book I'd seen floating around the house (we're house and pet sitting for a friend of mine while she hikes and bodyboards on her Costa Rican paradise honeymoon). Eat Pray Love. As I recall, this book was wildly popular about two years ago, and although the premise of the book never held much appeal for me, it seemed like a good place to start my summer reading.

In the midst of personal catastrophe, Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of the book, decides to take a year off for travel and reflection, which she then wrote about for this book. My initial reaction was scornful. She goes through a divorce and then has problems with her boyfriend, so she up and leaves for a year in attempt to escape and therefore fix her problems? Come on. These are boy troubles; get some real problems. But once I got past my impression of the author as a spoiled woman who is ruled by her emotions, whose journey is superfluous and whose problems are the result of her own flawed worldview, I began to see her for what she is: the modern working American woman. She lives in an age of abundance and relative peace, so her problems would not be those external problems of war and poverty, but problems of the internal nature. The sorts of problems that always exist, but can only be focused on after external problems are resolved. Her life experience is a common one, not unlike my own (I remember bemoaning to my boyfriend in high school that I hadn't had any suffering in my life, and that was making it difficult for me to think of something to write for my college essays. He shut me up quick when he responded by saying that he wished he was me because he would rather have a life without sorrow than a juicy essay topic), and so her journey for self-discovery is actually very relevant today.

And let's admit it. I'm jealous. She took a year off real life to travel and achieve personal growth. Who can do that?!? College kids can do that, as I did studying for a semester in Spain, so it seems my time has passed. It's strange to realize that, for the first time, you're past an age that you're not 100% glad to be past. While there are reasons I'm glad to be past college and many reasons I'm glad to be where I am now, there are still things I miss about college, namely that the primary goal of life during that time is exploration, exploration of the world and of yourself.

Another thing that I'm jealous of is that Elizabeth Gilbert had something in her adventures abroad that I did not: a focus. She traveled to three different countries for four months each, and in each place she committed to a theme around which everything revolved, a theme that helped her decide what to do with her time, how to spend her money and how to interact with others. In Italy, the only part of the book I've read so far, her theme was "pleasure", which you must admit is a very appropriate theme for a person going to a beautiful, romantic European country where she doesn't know anybody and doesn't have any obligations. I, on the other hand, went to Spain totally unprepared and without direction, and when I got there, I waited to see what would happen to me. And things did happen to me, but I think I would have been able to be more engaged, more confident, enjoy my time more fully, had I committed to some goal while I was there (besides my six hours of foreign language credit, that is), rather than allowing myself to be pulled in many directions, therefore moving very little in any direction.

So as I attend my first yoga teacher training class this evening, it is important that I bring a focus with me, a reason that I am there. A focus that will help me to know how to interact with my teachers and classmates and a focus that will help me to know what I need to learn. My focus for my teacher training will be servanthood.

New Directions

2010-05-23T14:25:00.006-05:00

To be human is to be dynamic. We're constantly moving toward some things and away from other things. We can see these movements toward or away from things in our day-to-day actions, and we can also see these movements as overarching life trends. We typically think of this concept in terms of goals we set. For example, a life goal of mine is to be a cook. This doesn't mean that I have to cook every single day, and there may be seasons of life when I don't cook very much. But it must be something that I come back to time and time again, and it must be something that I do consistently most of the time, if I should be able to call myself a cook.

Relationships are also dynamic; you're either growing closer to someone you're in relationship with, or you're growing apart. On the smallest scale, David and I are moving away from each other when we're at work. Our physical presence, our thoughts and energies are being directed elsewhere, so during those hours, we're moving away from each other. When we come home to the same place and we eat together and we talk to each other, we switch directions and move toward one another again. When we are continuously coming back together after being apart, the shift back toward each other is almost effortless, the impact of being apart is lessened and the overarching movement of our relationship is toward one another.

Habits, practices, may be developed either intentionally or unintentionally. When we develop practices intentionally, we are purposefully encouraging movement in particular directions. This is why we intentionally eat some foods and not others, why we establish exercise routines and meet weekly for church.
This is my roundabout way of announcing my intention to begin a yoga teacher training program in three weeks. Yoga is a practice that guides movement toward a particular goal. As a harmony-loving middle child type, I must admit that I am a bit insecure about making this announcement because yoga can be a controversial activity. Yoga originated in India and is often associated with Eastern belief systems, and nearly all experienced yogis will tell you that yoga isn't "just exercise", but is a life practice. To clear the air on this point, in the event that anyone is wary, in America, some yoga practices are essentially Buddhist or Hindu, but most are not. In American yoga culture it is popular to be "spiritual, but not religious" and the ultimate goal in life is well-being.
When I first started going to yoga classes, my goal was purely physical. Fitness has always been one of my hobbies, but I'd sorely neglected the flexibility aspect of fitness. As time went on, I wanted desperately for yoga to be a solely physical practice, but I couldn't help but notice how it made me feel so calm as well. When I began to consider teaching, I researched yogic philosophy to have a better idea of what I would be getting into. What I found from book to book and class to class was that there is a lot of variation in approaches to yoga, but the unifying principle between them all was holism. We are physical people, but we are more than just physical people. We are spiritual but not only spiritual, we are emotional and intellectual, but we are more than our emotions and our intellects. All of these aspects of being human are inextricably related, and we are more than the sum of our parts. Achieving our ultimate life goals requires the participation of every sphere of our beings.

I like this concept. If we are to truly give all the glory to God, it is inevitable that we will be examples of truth and love, and we will be good stewards of our money, our possessions, our bodies and our planet.

2010 Restaurant Poll

2010-05-22T17:13:00.003-05:00

The annual Austin Chronicle Restaurant Poll results came out this week! The poll is exciting because it lets me know about places I need to try, like Monument Cafe, which was noted by two different food critics for their desserts and fresh-squeezed lemonade. However, in my opinion, the poll ends up focusing too heavily on high-end restaurants, and I am not often inclined to make the investment. I also think that, since it's the general public votes, sometimes the poll reflects the restaurants that are the most well-known or popular, rather than the restaurants that are actually the best. So...I made my own restaurant poll!*

My responses are in italics, and David's are in bold.

Best...

Barbecue
The Salt Lick

Hamburger
Hut's Hamburgers
Hat Creek Burger Co.

French fries
Hyde Park Bar and Grill
P. Terry's

Taco
Torchy's

Chile-Pepper Dish
Chile Relleno at Las Palomas

Sandwich
FoodHeads
Thundercloud Subs

Desserts
Mozart's
Whole Foods

Ice Cream
Amy's Ice Cream

Pizza
House Pizzeria
Home Slice Pizza

Enchiladas
Maudie's

Vegetables
Eastside Cafe

Vegetarian Dish
Buenos Aires Cafe

American Breakfast
24 Diner
Nau's Enfield Drug and Old Fashioned Soda Fountain

Mexican Breakfast
Trudy's
Tacodeli

Veggie Burger
P. Terry's

Mexican
Las Palomas

Tex Mex
Maudie's

Cafe
Blue Dahlia

Coffee
Caffe Medici

Bakery
Upper Crust Bakery
Sweetish Hill Cafe and Bakery

Food Trailer
Fliphappy Crepes
The Mighty Cone and Gourdough's

Place to Get a Beer
The Draughthouse
Red's Porch

Patio
Vivo
Opal Divine

Food Trend
Trailer Restaurants
Frozen Yogurt

Place to Pick Up Food for a Group
Central Market

Place to Propose
Chez Zee

Food We Haven't Had
Odd Duck Farm to Trailer
Uchi and El Arbol

Bargain
Half order of Palm Tree Hugger Nachos at Hula Hut
$1 margaritas at El Arroyo

Grocery
Whole Foods
Sprouts

Waffle
24 Diner

Novelty
Eastside Pies and Gourdough's

What would be on your restaurant poll?

*I limited my poll to the categories for which I thought I could adequately respond.

Striving for Excellence

2010-05-19T13:44:00.005-05:00

On the last page of Austin Fit Magazine is a short article written by JB Hager, a local radio personality, and the topic of his article is "The Funny Side of Fit." This month he recounts an episode between his wife and himself in which they establish their different priorities: he is deeply concerned with the well-being of his car, while she is very careful about caring for her body. She contrasts his zeal for cleaning and maintaining his car with his complete carelessness regarding what he puts into his body, and eventually he admits, "I'm religious about changing the oil, flushing out the fluids and keeping my tires properly inflated. On the other hand, I completely trash my body."

I think JB makes a good point about the human tendency to compartmentalize the different aspects of our being. We have our favorite areas that we hone in on, and at times we even achieve excellence in these areas. He mentions two external, and therefore most obvious to other people, aspects of a person's being: the physical body and material possessions. Other aspects we focus on may be intellectual study, jobs or relationships. However, when we strive for excellence in one aspect, we tend to neglect the other parts of ourselves. For JB, not only is it important to take good care of his things, it's more important to take care of his things than to eat healthily.

Why do we strive for excellence in the first place? Is having a well-cared for car or body an end in itself? If we are Christians, we believe that our purpose is to bring glory to God, and this is accomplished through more than overtly spiritual activities. With every aspect of our being we're ultimately either bringing glory to God, or we're not, and this is why, as Christians, a holistic approach is the only appropriate approach to being.

This means that people who work for a ministry are not the only people who can spend most of their time in service to the Lord, although their circumstances may be more conducive to doing so. It also means that everything you do, say or think, while still forgivable, matters.

Since I'm feeling inconclusive and no one is grading this blog, I'm not going to write a conclusion. I have more thoughts about this topic, and hopefully in the next few days I'll have time to develop those thoughts and write them down. Your thoughts and comments are welcome!

Clave

2010-04-23T11:58:00.002-05:00

This is not just any key. This is the key I received yesterday to symbolize my recent promotion to Assistant Manager at Austin Java. In addition to symbolism, the key allows me to lock and unlock the doors of the store.

First Harvest

2010-04-17T12:11:00.006-05:00

Gardening is miraculous. We were taught as kindergarteners that seed + sunlight + water = plant, so we always knew that, in theory, this should work. It's another thing altogether to plant a seed, care for it and see it develop into a plant with leaves, roots and fruit. Wow! It really works, even though I don't really know what I'm doing!!!

On Easter we harvested the first strawberries from our garden. The strawberry plants were transplants bought at the farmer's market.This morning we went to the garden to do some weeding and discovered that some of the radishes (which we planted from seed) were bursting out of the ground...time for harvesting! We sliced them up and ate them on our salad at lunch. Delish.

Our niece is born!

2010-03-27T07:50:00.003-05:00

On Thursday afternoon, a healthy Abigail Kay Breeding arrived!
On Thursday evening, we pulled into Plano to visit her:

Salty Sweet

2010-03-24T14:43:00.004-05:00

The food that marked my childhood was french fries. I was the French Fry Queen. I once declared that if I ever went on a diet, I would give up anything except french fries (and maybe brownies). I was well-acquainted with the fries of the restaurants my family frequented, and in my royal opinion, McDonald's fries were king.

I was a purist, usually eating them without ketchup, and I loved the long, kind of floppy fries. However, my very favorites were the fries at the bottom of the bag-- the ones you didn't know were there until you thought you had run out. We would drive through McDonald's for an after-school snack, on the way home from soccer practice and on the way to Denton, where I would play with my friend Emily while our parents played Scrabble, and it was only a matter of time before I dipped McDonald's french fries into McDonald's vanilla soft serve...

It was sensational. First a sweet sensation, and then a salty sensation, and it was utterly fantastic. Sweet and salt-- who'd have thought? Yet, these opposites complemented each other in a way that was surprising and perfect. Surprisingly perfect. Perfectly surprising.

I've continued to be enchanted by the "salty sweet": kettlecorn, chocolate-covered pretzels, chicken and waffles...and does anyone have an opinion on the bacon + sweet pairing? I haven't had it, but I've started to see it everywhere, like here and here and here.

Scrumptious chicken 'n waffles from 24 Diner.
Photo courtesy of Frances Shelley's iPhone.

Lately I've been experimenting with salty oat cookie recipes as a part of the quest to develop a set of perfect baked good recipes. The purpose of this quest, besides just having some tried-and-true classics in my baking repertoire, is to prepare for my future coffee shop business. The working recipe, still subject to tweaking, is as follows:

*1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
*1 tsp baking powder
*1 tsp kosher salt, plus more for topping
*2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
*1 cup brown sugar
*1 cup white sugar
*2 eggs
*2 tsp vanilla
*2 cups oats
*1 cup toasted pecans
*1 cup raisins

Preheat oven to 350.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside.

In a large bowl, cream butter and sugars with an electric mixer. Add eggs one at a time, then mix in vanilla. Without overmixing, add dry ingredients to wet and stir until all are moistened. Carefully fold in oats, pecans and raisins.

Dampen hands and roll dough, 1/4 cup at a time, into balls and set on the baking sheet. Flatten the dough into discs and, using a salt shaker, sprinkle the tops with salt (be generous-- do it as you would a sugar topping.)

Bake for 15 minutes, rotating baking sheets once in the middle.

Chocolate Cupcakes a la Rizzotti

2010-03-08T14:59:00.004-06:00

I remember clearly when David received the phone call that Rebecca was born. It's hard to believe that will be four years ago next month...that is, until you realize that she has the education of a second grader. By now, her reading fluency is old news, but her knowledge of nutrition continues to astound me; she knows more about vitamins, food sensitivities and the importance of healthful eating than most adults. This is a direct result of her family's recent struggles with food allergies.

Fortunately, doctors and the public have become much more aware of these issues, and all kinds of crazy flours and oils and sweeteners have popped up in grocery stores to provide allergen-free alternatives in cooking. Overall I'd say that cooking with non-traditional ingredients is still in an experimental phase, and the latest experiment for the Rizzottis has been finding a suitable birthday cake for Rebecca's big day. Lucky for me (a person who loves both dessert and cooking experiements), I got to be a part of this challenge when we visited over the weekend.
Let's take a standard cake recipe, say the chocolate cake recipe in Joy of Cooking. The ingredients are as follows:

*cake flour
*baking powder
*salt
*unsweetened chocolate
*boiling water
*unsalted butter
*sugar
*egg yolks
*milk
*vanilla
*egg whites

And white icing is made with:

*confectioner's sugar
*butter
*milk
*vanilla
*salt

So how do you make a chocolate cake with white icing without using any form of gluten, corn, eggs, soy, cane sugar or cow's milk? For us, the answer laid within a baking book called BabyCakes a resource rich in vegan, gluten-free, soy-free and refined sugar-free recipes. But what is in these cupcakes?Salt and vanilla are still fair game, but the cake flour is replaced with a combination of rice flour, garbanzo-fava bean flour, arrowroot flour and potato starch. The eggs and baking powder (which contains corn starch) is replaced with baking soda, cream of tartar and xanthan gum. The chocolate is replaced with unsweetened cocoa powder, and the butter is replaced with coconut oil. Sugar is replaced with unsweetened applesauce and agave nectar.

The frosting is made with unsweetened rice milk, dry goat milk powder, coconut flour, agave nectar, coconut oil, vanilla and lemon juice.

Sure enough, when mixed together, the cupcake ingredients transformed into a chocolatey batter, albeit slightly drier and lumpier than usual cake batter. During baking, the cupcakes did not smooth out or rise in any apparent way, leaving me with doubts about how far this specialized way of baking had actually come. In the looks contest, these cupcakes get a 'B' rating (I concede that this may have more to do with the baker than the recipe), but in the taste contest, the contest that actually matters, it's a definite 'A'!

Ebb and Flow

2010-02-27T14:49:00.002-06:00

I spent the past few weeks outside. I went out to run, garden, work more hours, volunteer and celebrate. I went out to meetings and gatherings, to see new places and do new things. We brought the outside in by having family, friends and neighbors into our home. By the end of last week, my physical and emotional state were about as stable as the weather.

I spent this week inside. This week I didn't do very many of the things listed above. But I did other things. I fulfilled most of my weekly commitments. I let my tired body duke it out with my allergies. I gave my mind some time to do nothing but think. I sat in the sun and lost track of time. I went to bed earlier and woke up later, and I spent significant one-on-one time with David.

We go out, and then we come back in. This is the way I've heard Bill Boyd describe a Christian's relationship with the Sabbath. We go out into the world every Monday, enthusiastically pursuing life, and by Saturday night we're worn down. We bring our tired, battered selves to church on Sunday, spending the day in restful worship, and by Monday we are replenished in energy and encouragement.

This has been a Sabbath Week, a week of resting in safety, rebuilding and reloading, preparing to go outside again...

Cheese + Chocolate = Love

2010-02-16T09:33:00.005-06:00

For Valentine's Day, David and I went to Antonelli's Cheese Shop, which just opened in Hyde Park last week. It's owned by a young couple, Mr. and Mrs. Antonelli, and their shop seeks to provide cheese expertise with an emphasis on personal service.Kelly, the Antonellis' wonderful and knowledgeable cheese industry expert helped us select our cheeses. We were looking to buy three cheeses and wanted a variety of types, so she made recommendations and let us sample them. Then she sliced chunks in the amounts that we wanted and packaged them up for us. As a small store, their selection is not as vast as Central Market or Whole Foods, but they will rotate cheeses in and out of their inventory to continue introducing new cheeses to people. They plan to hold cheese tasting classes in the future to educate about cheeses, which I am definitely looking forward to.

David also secretly ordered me chocolates from Yeti Chocolates, which is a seasonal chocolate business run by Willow, my wilderness firefighter/dessert chef friend whom I met working in Glacier National Park. Thus, Valentine's Day dinner:
Starting at the top and moving counter-clockwise, the cheeses are:

*Manchego cheese, which is a firm Spanish cheese made of sheep's milk. I've never met a cheese I didn't like, but Manchego may take the cake as my favorite cheese for nostalgic reasons-- it takes me back to my semester studying in Spain where this cheese was abundant and inexpensive!

*Constant Bliss, a soft-ripened Vermont cheese made of cow's milk.

*Red Hawk, a washed rind Californian cheese. It is a triple cream cow's milk cheese, which means that they actually add cream during the cheese making process. We dubbed this one the "stinky cheese."

In the center, the chocolates are:

*Hazelwings: Milk chocolate Frangelico filling dipped in dark chocolate and rolled in ground hazelnuts. Very reminiscent of Ferrero Rocher.

*Masala Chai: Homemade chai tea that infused into the chocolate, a dairy-free ganache made with dark chocolate, that is dipped in dark chocolate and imprinted with a cocoa butter design.

*Smith n' Wesson: One layer of kahlua and white chocolate filling, one layer of espresso filling made with Portland's own Stumptown Italian roast coffee, in a dark chocolate shell.

We Can Do Anything

2010-02-09T11:29:00.004-06:00

What did people eat at Super Bowl parties before there was Velveeta?*

Velveeta, the Kraft brand "pasteurized prepared cheese product", when combined with a can of Rotel and zapped in the microwave for four minutes, transforms into queso, the ubiquitous American football party staple. Everyone knows this, so we take it for granted. But now imagine that you've been transported to a parallel universe where the only thing that's different is that the person who invented Velveeta, Emil Frey, was never born. Come Super Bowl Sunday, what would you do?

After a period of quiet reflection on this very scenario, I decided that I would be in charge of the queso for Super Bowl XLIV, and I would be going Velveeta-less. I was not completely without guidance going out into the unknown; I used a combination of this recipe from the Homesick Texan blog and this recipe from the Austin 360 website. Rachel and David's recipe goes like this:

Melt 2 tbsp of butter in a saucepan over medium-low heat and then cook a 1/2 of an onion, chopped, until the onion is translucent. Add 4 cloves of minced garlic and cook for another minute. Whisk 2 tbsp of flour into the mixture and then add 1 cup of milk, whisking constantly until the sauce is thick. Stir in a 1/2 cup of cilantro, chopped, and a can of Rotel. Turn heat to low and stir in 6 cups of shredded cheese, 1/4 cup at a time, fully melting and incorporating the cheese before adding more. Stir in 1/2 cup sour cream.

All was going well until I was supposed to slowly stir the shredded cheese into the pot, 1/4 of a cup at a time, allowing it to fully incorporate into the sauce before adding more. Mine looked more like a wad of melted cheese in the middle of a pot with sauce and tomatoes swirling around it as I stirred. I felt about like I did the first time I tried to make mozzarella cheese and the time I tried to make my own potato chips. In a huff, I stomped away from the pot.

I call this picture 'Love' because love is patient and kind, not huffy and stomping.
David took over, patiently and kindly stirring my cheesy mess, giving it the time it needed to become...
...QUESO.

Will we do it again? Unlikely. The pros and cons of making queso without Velveeta are clear:

Cons
-Time: There was about 90 minutes from the beginning of prep work to final product. Velveeta queso takes about 5 minutes total.
-Mess: I used two knives, a cutting board, several measuring cups and spoons, a food processor, a whisk, a plastic stirring spoon and a pot to make this queso. For Velveeta there is no mess besides the bowl you serve it in and a spoon.
-Consistency: This is just a minor con, and it may be due to our inexperience making queso this way. However, in our experiment, the queso was neither quite as thick, nor quite as smooth as Velveeta.

Pros
-Flavor: This queso tasted like cheese. Honest-to-goodness cheese. And there's nothing better than cheese except chocolate. (Sorry Velveeta, but you don't taste like cheese, you taste like Velveeta.)
-Glory: You didn't think it was possible, but we did it. [Insert the chorus from You and Me by the Dave Matthews Band]

*This is actually an imaginary issue because football fans have never had to watch a professional football championship game without Velveeta queso. Velveeta was first made in 1918 by a Swiss immigrant in New York and has been owned by Kraft since 1927. In fact, football fans have been able to eat queso during football games longer than they have been able to watch football games on television, as the NFL was created in 1920 and television sets weren't commercially available until the 1930s. So by the time the first Super Bowl was held in 1967, it never even occurred to football fans to not eat tortilla chips and Velveeta queso during the game.

The Gist of It

2010-02-02T13:21:00.009-06:00

I decided to work at Austin Java to learn more about coffee and the restaurant business, and just eight months later, I got around to it. Today I visited the Austin Java corporate offices and coffee roasting facilities to watch the Master Roaster at work.

There are no photos of the flavored coffee. Mitchell, the master roaster, is morally opposed to flavored coffees (but alas, the masses love a cup of Texas Pecan), so he keeps all the flavoring chemicals, mixer and grinder in a dark closet, behind closed doors, and for the most part pretends that flavored coffees don't exist within those facilities.

Here is the green coffee, which is what they call the unroasted beans. I'll have to keep this in mind for the next time I need a sack for the sack race.
The coffee bean is the pit of a berry, and before it's roasted, it has a greenish hue.

To roast the beans, the green coffee is poured into the roaster, which costs approximately two arms and one leg. Then there are all sorts of fancy fans, vents and heating devices that are set to specific speeds and temperatures and percentages to create a particular roast. It's times like these that I wish I had a science brain; then I think this machine would be not only fascinating, but also comprehensible.
Hehe, I had to get really close to take this one.
This is the digital control panel for the roaster. This screen shows things like the amount of time the beans have been roasting, the bean temperature, the rate of temperature increase, amount of heat being applied, and on and on. Mitchell assured me that all those numbers mean something. All the beans are roasted between 14 and 15 minutes, and this controls how they are roasted.
When the beans have roasted to the prescribed temperature, they pour out to this rotating part to cool.
One thing I didn't realize was that our roaster is a man of many labels; he roasts the coffee for several other entities besides Austin Java.
Here's Mitchell himself, doing what he does:

Mitchell was ever-so-gracious to let me follow him around while he worked for a couple hours, even smiling briefly for the camera, and answered all my burning questions (i.e. By what process is our decaf decaffeinated? Why do our flavored coffees arrive at the store already ground? What single-origins are our coffee blends made from? Have you ever totally scorched a batch?)

This coffee roasting business is fairly complicated stuff, but I think now I have the gist of it.

Circle of Life Weekend

2010-01-26T12:13:00.003-06:00

Finding our places on the path unwinding...

Mother-to-be

New grandpa
90 years old today!
David's 24th birthday

First Chicken

2010-01-13T19:31:00.005-06:00

One of my approximately 40 new year's resolutions is to conquer (or at least face) my fear of cooking meat that looks like animals. Thus, my first roast chicken:I don't want to mislead you into believing that I was more heroic than I really was...there wasn't anything inside the cavity, so I didn't have to reach in there and deal with necks and giblets (shudder), and while I did salt and pepper the chicken, I certainly did NOT stuff anything under its skin. It was a semi-traumatic experience. As I moved its appendages around during the preparation, I had to repeat over and over to myself, "This is food, this is food, this is food..." And it was...now on to my next experiment-- homemade chicken stock!

The Case for Texas

2010-01-08T14:44:00.005-06:00

Colt McCoy's injury changed everything. It was an unbelievable "plot twist" as the one player that all broadcasters and bloggers were saying needed to be at peak performance trotted off the field, right arm dangling, not to trot back on. Injuries are a part of the game, but as a Texas fan, it's hard to not feel a bit cheated by Alabama's national championship win. After all, the Texas offense that got Texas to the BCS title game was not the Texas offense that Alabama played. But as ESPN's Ivan Maisel said, "In the end, it doesn't matter how you won the crystal football, only that you won it." This is my very biased report on this year's college football national championship game.

I want to start by saying that, as heartbreaking as the game was, I am so proud of my team. Then sense of "team" is why I love college football so much more than professional football. In a potentially devastating turn of events, the Longhorns rallied behind their unlikely quarterback. Throughout the game, players were encouraging Gilbert and each other, building one another up. Colt McCoy was out there, purely for the sake of his team, though it must have killed him to have to watch from the sidelines. Coming together this way, Texas kept hope alive and made an exciting game out of what could have easily been pitiful failure.

Mistakes, while frustrating, are not unexpected in a quarterback's first season, and especially not in his first big-time game. But imagine if your first big-time game is the BCS national title game. Not only that, but it's a surprise to you and everyone else that you're even going to play. In the face of this mind-blowing situation, Garrett Gilbert was strong as could be. he needed to pass. It wasn't safe, but he had to if Texas had any shot of staying in the game. He made lots of mistakes, some very costly mistakes, but he didn't succumb to the enormous pressure and frustration and have a mental breakdown (which would have been understandable). He picked himself up after each mistake and tried again. Garrett Gilbert is going to be good for Texas.

I don't doubt the possibility that Alabama could have won if Colt had been playing. It's impossible to know how Colt would have played and how Alabama would have played against Colt. But one thing that was firmly re-established last night was Alabama's wicked running game. Mark Ingram-- how does that guy do that??? And why is he only a sophomore? Not helpful for us the next two years, and the other scary thing is that freshman Trent Richardson looks a lot like him. With such a fast, tough running game, it wasn't necessary to have a quarterback who could do anything but hand the ball off, which is about all Greg McElroy did (here's a nod to the Texas defense). Alabama isn't just a running game. They are a top-tier defense, though not as good as Nebraska, in my opinion. They managed only one sack on Gilbert, while Nebraska sacked McCoy nine times (ick, let's not remember that...let's remember how Texas sacked McElroy five times.) Even against a freshman quarterback who was, essentially, playing his first game, Alabama allowed two touchdowns and a 2-point conversion.

We try not to think too much about the "what ifs". But let it be known that there is much more to this story than, "Alabama Beats Texas 37-21." Oh, and of course, congratulations to Alabama, especially Nick Saban and Mark Ingram-- you earned it.

Jamaica Week

2010-01-07T09:49:00.011-06:00

Eating Well Magazine features Jamaican recipes in the latest edition, and so our dinner table has featured Jamaican cuisine for the week. Jamaicans don't bother with foods that don't have a great big kick; the common thread throughout all the recipes was scotch bonnet peppers, a very spicy Jamaican pepper that is not available in Austin. The best substitute is habanero peppers, which I used, although I used serranos on the days I was feeling less hardcore.

Pepperpot Soup
When I brought the leftovers of this soup to eat at work, my coworker David said, "Eww! That looks gross!" One of the wonderful things about David is that you never have to wonder what he thinks. The milky white broth was certainly an unfamiliar look for a soup, but the variety of colors and textures was spectacular! Chunks of sirloin, collard green leaves, slices of okra and diced sweet potato, swimming in a coconut milk broth. Visually stunning as it was, it's not the sort of soup you linger over and wash around in your mouth to more fully enjoy the flavors. If you did that, your tongue would burst into flames. We ate this soup fast. And with lots of water. If your eyes tend to water when you eat a lot of salsa at Tex Mex restaurants, you'll probably want to take this soup down a notch with a serrano pepper instead of habanero.

Curried Fish
Apparently, curry was brought to Jamaica from India back in the 1800s, so it's a commonly used spice there. I used about half the amount of curry called for (David--my husband, not my coworker-- finds curry to be more powerful than people who write recipes with curry), so usually this dish would look much more yellow. The fish was cooked in a sauce of curry and coconut milk, along with onions, scallions, the obligatory hot pepper and a green bell pepper. This recipe calls for mahi mahi, which is a great fish for someone like me who wants to like fish, but has a hard time getting over how fish-like it is. You can tell this is my plate because the ratio of fish to vegetables is about 1 to 8. I like this recipe because it's light, and also because it's flavors are different enough from my usual cooking choices to be interesting, but not so different that it's threatening.

Jerk Chicken
"Why does this taste like eggnog?" David asked at dinner. Fair question. The flavors of the chicken that evening were reminiscent of eggnog, or perhaps a holiday spice bread. Along with the usual suspects: onions, peppers, lime juice, oil, and sugar, a Jamaican jerk marinade includes cinnamon, all spice and nutmeg, an unexpected combination of meat and spices. Sadly, we weren't able to cook the chicken on a wood-fueled grill like they do in Jamaica, but the broiler produced a tender bird (if you can call packaged, boneless chicken strips--another Rachel Recipe Modification-- a 'bird'). The spicy chicken was balanced out nicely with the mellower rice and sweet potatoes, and David loved this dinner, going back for seconds.

Jamaican Beef Patties
If David loved the jerk chicken, he loooooooooooooovveeed the beef patties, which are basically empanadas. He ate two, and then asked if he could have one for lunch the next day. My favorite part was the warm, flaky crust, made of a combination of white flour and whole-wheat pastry flour as well as a combination of butter and canola oil. Very Comfort Food. As far as I know, brussel sprouts are not part of the Jamaican cuisine. But they are in season in Texas right now.

Thoughts on Giving

2010-01-03T14:43:00.005-06:00

It had been a few months since I'd been to the monthly work day at Wild Basin Preserve. It was the second Saturday in July at 8:30 am, and I was hoping that we could get started on our work and finish before noon, when the sun would be in full-force. The minutes ticked by and I was the only one there. Then this guy named Pete showed up. Pete was there to fulfill some community service hours, which was the price he had to pay for some offense he'd committed, but we didn't talk about that. It wasn't til 9 am that a few more people started showing up, and I didn't recognize any of them from the other times I'd volunteered. It turned out that a lot had changed since in those few months, including the work day start time. Mike, the white-haired land manager who had lived on the property for 10 years and was in charge of the work days, had been fired, and 26 year-old Mitch from Portland, Oregon had taken his place. None of the work day regulars were there. In fact, the only other person who was NOT there for community service hours was Ben. I learned from talking to Ben that he was about my age, from a well-to-do family and a fairly recent college graduate. He told me he planned to go to medical school, even though it was tough for doctors to make any money anymore, because he wanted to help people so much. Until then, he was volunteering full-time because he liked it and thought it would help him get into a good medical school. He'd wavered between volunteering at Wild Basin or a nursing home that day.

I went home that day wondering what had happened to all the people who volunteered at Wild Basin because they liked trees? Because they liked to be outside and loved our city's parks? Because they felt moved to give back? It's undeniable that tremendous amounts of good is accomplished by volunteers looking to boost their resumes. But why does that fact feel so dissatisfying?

At the end of December, there was a short feature on NPR about a cultural phenomenon they call "Selfish Giving." Selfish giving is the giving of time or money at least partially because of the benefits received from giving besides the good feeling you get knowing that you've given. When Starbucks gives a portion of their profits to AIDS treatment programs in Africa, they hope to receive a caring, globally-minded image. When individuals decide to give, decide who to give to and how much, they may be influenced by the t-shirt they receive for their donation, the recognition they receive when their name is printed on a brick or the boost their resume receives for their good deeds.

Obviously, giving for the sake of generosity is ideal. Giving should be about the party you're giving to, not about you. But the fact remains that in this fallen world, a lot of good is done for a mix of reasons, and the question is, does that matter? If a cure for cancer is found, does it matter that the research was funded by money donated with impure motivations? And if it does, does it matter enough to do something about it?

Happy January 2nd!

2010-01-02T15:34:00.004-06:00

With the new year (not to mention Christmas, thank you Granny O) comes a new camera! My favorite thing about it so far is that it's much better at taking indoor pictures without flash-- less blurry and more accurate color. Here's a little sample, taken at the second annual January 2nd brunch:

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T09:03:00.001-06:00

...from me and our neighborhood gorilla statue. I love Clarksville.

First Compost

2009-12-12T18:43:00.004-06:00

I've been wanting to compost for a couple of years, but living in an apartment makes it tricky. I recently found out that the Austin Farmer's Market (Saturday mornings at 4th and Guadalupe) has a composting bin for shoppers to leave their kitchen scraps. The bins then go to the farmers to use in their own compost. So this week we kept all of our compost-able scraps beneath the sink in a big plastic spinach container, and today we dumped it off! Who knew that trash could be so exciting?!?

The Wonderful Freedom to Fail

2009-12-08T16:16:00.002-06:00

This is an article written by Denis Haack, editor of a publication called Critique. I found it to be encouraging, especially for people in my particular phase of life:

Speaking at the 2009 Christians in the Visual Arts (CIVA) conference allowed me to attend some fascinating presentations. New York artist Makoto Fujimura, for example, talked about how artists need to see failure correctly. Failure isn't always a bad thing, he said. Often it's the best way to learn, it's necessary for growth, and since we have a God given yearning to achieve and participate in a level of perfection impossible for finite and fallen creatures it turns out to be the story of our lives.

Makoto was not referring to moral failure. He was referring to the chance to experiment, to try new things, to push into new areas. As he spoke, I thought about how this doesn't just apply to artists. Being given the freedom to fail is a precious gift of grace we all need.

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail Again. Fail better," Irish author and dramatist Samuel Beckett said. "Go on failing. Go on. Only next time, try to fail better."

I've noticed that a few people seem to know their life's calling from childhood. It's as if they were made for one thing. Others discover their calling when some event or force narrows their focus in an unexpected way. Others stumble upon opportunities they couldn't have predicted but find fulfilling. And some seem unsure of having any calling or clear direction at all, and need a chance to experiment, to explore possibilities to see what fits them best. Their pilgrimage, as legitimate as the others, can take years.

It's the same for uncovering one's creativity. Some people seem to instinctively know their penchant for being creative. But others need untold opportunities to find theirs. Finding their way through life takes time and a chance to try various options. In such a world, providing a safe place for such failure is a necessary aspect of Christian faithfulness.

Our world esteems productivity, rewards decisiveness, and dislikes inefficiency. Which is good when you are making widgets, or an engineer, or a physician. In the rest of life, however, these modernist values merely decrease human flourishing by demanding conformity when diversity is what God called into being.

"I have not failed," scientist and inventor Thomas Edison once said. "I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Tim Keller says that the God of scripture is prodigal. The word doesn't mean "wayward", but "recklessly extravagant, spendthrift, having spent everything until there is nothing left to give." And since God has been so prodigal with us, we can be prodigal with others.

I want my home to be known as a hospitable place where failures can safely fail some more. Where people can laugh together, help each other learn and grow, and cheer one another on to the next failure. I want it to be, quite simply, a place where the free exploration of creativity and meaning and vocation and calling can be safely nourished and encouraged by prodigal grace.

My Friend, We Are the Champions

2009-12-07T19:38:00.008-06:00

Tense. Agonizing. Miraculous. This sums up the Big 12 Championship game, Texas vs. Nebraska.
We made the trip from Austin to Jerry World, anticipating a dominating performance by our beloved Texas Longhorns. Before I knew it, it was the fourth quarter and it seems like nothing had happened. There were no major plays in the first three quarters, just four field goals and a cute little touchdown that caught Texas up to Nebraska. The only one who looked really good during the first three quarters was Ndamukong Suh, Nebraska's 300 lb. beast of a defensive lineman.

Down by two to Nebraska in the 4th, not only did Colt not play up to Heisman-winning expectations, he looked like he'd gone downright crazy scurrying around the 37 yard line as the clock ran out. It looked like the Cornhuskers had won, and they believed that they had. But the Texas sideline did not believe that it had lost. It turned out that Colt McCoy had not gone crazy. In fact, he had purposefully thrown the ball out of bounds with one second remaining after attempting to achieve the best possible field position for Hunter Lawrence to kick the game winning field goal (what a Heisman-like thing to do).

Pandemonium ensued and all the red shirts filed quietly out of the stands.Winning the conference championship has been the Horns' goal all year, so now the pressure's off, right? The national title game is just icing on the cake? Well, at least the Big 12 champs have a month to refocus and conquer their number one enemy: Colt McCoy's jitters.

1, 2, 3 Thanksgiving!

2009-11-28T23:53:00.009-06:00

On the first day of Thanksgiving, we celebrated with my friend Emily and UT's German House Coop:I made sweet potato biscuits and David was nominated to carve the turkey.I love all the slightly less traditional Thanksgiving foods that show up when a group of mostly international students puts on the feast (it's just not Thanksgiving without the...hummus???)

On the second day of Thanksgiving, we ate at Sarah and Ricky's apartment. Here they are, proud of their happy turkey:
Sarah made the cheddar pecan crackers and I made the spinach and feta-stuffed mushrooms.

Granny O is excited.

Ricky changed shirts depending on which football game was on:

Dessert sampler plate: citrus pumpkin pie and pear, apple, cranberry crisp ala mode!

We put Sandy to sleep. I think that probably means the meal was an overwhelming success.On the third day of Thanksgiving, I managed to remember my camera...but took no pictures. But I can assure you, it was full of parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, food, beer, wine and Cranium. Which equals a lovely time for all.

In place of a picture of my third Thanksgiving, here's a moment from today, the day after the third day of Thanksgiving:

This is Ricky and David cleaning up the yard at Sarah and Ricky's NEW HOUSE!!!!!

The Taste of Fall

2009-11-16T20:36:00.005-06:00

I think I like fall food even more than summer food. The apples! The pears! The squash and potatoes! Our produce bowl runneth over!

I made pumpkin apple soup a couple weeks ago, as well as a delicious stuffed acorn squash dinner. Last weekend we enjoyed butternut squash risotto at Elisabeth's house. At last, it feels right to have a nice, warm meal!

This is a sweet potato, red onion and fontina tart. It sort of resembled the picture in the magazine: Layered Mashed Potato and Mushroom Casserole (a terrific way to sneak chard onto your dinner plate):Mmmm, breakfast. Apple walnut bran muffin with homemade applesauce:This is a cappucino and mini tiramisu from Johnny Carino's:

Justice for All

2009-11-09T14:11:00.003-06:00

Several weeks ago, my coworker asked me if I was in favor of or against the death penalty, and I had to admit that because it hasn't been the hottest of topics since I've been an eligible voter, I hadn't thought much about it. But after only brief consideration, I knew that it would never be a high priority issue for me, because God is the ultimate judge, not our court systems.

Last week we went to a forum on the UT campus, and the speaker was a representative of International Justice Mission, a team of lawyers and law enforcers who use their skills to bring an end to human trafficking on a global scale. They work in countries that:
1. Have a justice system in place
2. Have laws against such human trafficking
3. By and large, fail to uphold their own laws concerning these issues

Their work sounds very CIA movie-like: Investigators go undercover to places in question. Such places would be brothels full of underage girls or mills where people, including young children, are forced to work 14 hours each day. Using hidden cameras they gather evidence, and when there is enough evidence to make a case against the oppressors, they garner support from the authorities (which they say can be the hardest part), and perform a surprise bust. At least some of enslaved are set free, and their owners are tried in court.

IJM knows that slavery will continue to be a problem in the world (I was surprised to learn that even in Texas there are an estimated 5,000 people in slavery), but people are being set free. And precedents are being set for being held accountable for heinous crimes, and hopefully for many slaveholders, the risk will become too great to be worth it.

What I like about IJM is their focus on the people on the receiving end of injustice. They focus on stopping injustices and preventing future injustices. This, I believe, should be the purpose of justice systems, rather than choosing the perfect punishment.

Thoughts?

Do You Remember These?

2009-11-08T15:02:00.007-06:00

Does anyone else remember these shorts that would play during Animaniacs episodes? I had a great time on YouTube watching them all again.

Speaking of marching bands, this weekend was the annual LHAB (Longhorn Alumni Band) football game. The (Old Timer) Show Band of the Southwest:

This guy steals the halftime show every year. He's a baton twirler who must be in his 70s, and he throws the baton sooooo high. Every time he catches it, people cheer like he made a touchdown!

Some of my favorite Old Timers:

Georgia Love

2009-11-01T13:50:00.006-06:00

Texas is better than Georgia, to begin with. Let me count the ways:

1. Texas is bigger. Smaller states will claim that 'bigger' is not necessarily 'better'. They say, Texas is different than Georgia because of its size, but not necessarily better. But deep down we all know that when it comes to geographical boundaries, bigger is better, and Georgia (59,425 sq. mi.) is just slightly more than 1/5 the size of Texas (268,820 sq. mi.)

2. Texas has a distinct shape, pleasing to the eye and easily recognizable. This is particularly useful for the tourism industry which makes everything from cookie cutters to pasta in the shape of Texas. Imagine the confusion there would be if they tried to make Georgia-shaped foods.

3. Texas has two national parks, Big Bend and Guadalupe Mountains, which is infinitely more national parks than the zero that Georgia has.

4. Texas cuisine: Tex Mex, chili, Texas-style barbecue. What has Georgia? Peaches, which actually grow quite well in Central Texas also.

I could go on, but I think that would be beating a dead horse. Now that we have established Texas' clear superiority over Georgia (and all the other states), let me move on to the point I started out wanting to make: Georgia has something Texas does not. We flew out to Atlanta area for four days last week to help The In-Laws move houses, and I was blown away by the fall foliage. Trees in Texas get straight to the point in the fall, turning from green to brown, except for the live oak, who refuses to acknowledge seasons at all.

But the maple trees of Georgia are the shining stars of autumn, and they relish every moment:

Vaquero Sabroso

2009-10-26T15:14:00.005-05:00

Old Austinites mourn that the beloved South Congress strip is losing its vibe to flashy "SoCo" retail and condos. But I think the neighborhood is expanding itself, simultaneously embracing businesses that are do-it-yourself handmade and businesses that are hip and sleek. The main criteria for South Congress businesses is that they be both high quality and original.

One of the latest trends on the handmade end of the spectrum is the row of restaurant trailers on the east side of the street, between the Baptist church and the basket weaving shop. There's something nostalgic about a restaurant trailer, and when we decided to eat at Vaquero Cocina, an old feeling arose within me. It's the feeling I got when, on the car ride home from soccer practice, my mother would announce that we were making a pit stop at the snow cone stand. We would feast our eyes on the list of flavors, imagining the possibilities. It was like magic-- how could so many different kinds of snow cones all come out of such a tiny room?

The Vaquero Cocina Airstream trailer is very do-it-yourself. The menu is fixed to the side of the trailer and is hand-painted with pencil marks still visible under the paint. They feature their meat, which they do themselves in a smoker right out back. As we scanned the menu, excitement began to rise about the edible treasures that would come out of that trailer.

It's hard to classify Vaquero Cocina as any one genre of food, but I would say it's a blend of Texas barbecue (a la Lockhart, no barbecue sauce necessary) and Mexican and South American food. As you may expect from a kitchen so tiny, the menu is very simple, featuring two meats served three different ways: in a tortilla, between slices of bread or alone with two side dishes. On the weekends they have an almost-vegetarian option.

I had the brisket taco and a side of plantain chips, and David had a sausage wrap with sweet potato fries. Besides the meat, my taco featured red cabbage, roasted garlic, cotijo cheese and lime. One thing that must be clear about this taco is that it's not Tex Mex. It's not about the sauces and cheese; it's about the meat, and everything else is meant to adorn the meat, complementing it and bringing out its flavors.

I liked the food at Vaquero Cocina. I liked the taco, and I would have liked the plantain chips with a pinch of salt. But eating at Vaquero Cocina is more than a thrill for your taste buds; it's an experience. It really is. Sitting at a picnic table beneath a string of outdoor lights, the South Congress ambience becomes the Vaquero Cocina ambience. You can hear the band at the Continental Club, see the colorful displays in the shop windows, and people are everywhere, socializing. Combined with the novelty of eating at a trailer and the novelty of the menu items, Vaquero Cocina is just plain fun.

Texas 16, Oklahoma 13

2009-10-18T14:29:00.006-05:00

Sports fanatics tend to make everything into a statistic, a practice I usually find to be mildly humorous. But on Saturday it was less than amusing as the announcers updated us on each play of the game with the number of times Colt had been taken to the ground.

The Red River Rivalry is always an emotional roller coaster. This year's was a battle of defenses, characterized by reviewing close-call plays and injuries, starting with Sam Bradford, last year's Heisman winner and this year's fragile flower, re-injuring his his throwing shoulder. Fortunately for the Sooners, their team is more than just a superstar quarterback-- they have a darn good back up and a strong defensive line. In fact, in the first half, Colt McCoy was given approximately two seconds from the time of the snap to do something with the ball before the Oklahoma defensive line would tear through his protection and maul him. On the outside we're ever-encouraging, clapping and saying, "Next play, boys, next play." But on the inside, we're yelling with frustration at the offensive line, "You're killin' me, Smalls!"

This is not to diminish the performance of the Texas defense. Though Landry Jones (Oklahoma's back up quarterback, although it may be safe to drop the "back up" at this point) didn't face quite the pressure that Colt did, the Texas secondary was on fire, and the Sooners rarely made it to the 30 yard line.

I don't know what sort of verbal elixir Mack Brown gives his team at halftime, but I wonder why he doesn't give it to them before the first half. Every game, it's not until the second half that my team remembers that they are the Mighty Texas Longhorns, and the Mighty Texas Longhorns win football games. In the second half against Oklahoma, the Texas offensive line guarded their quarterback as if he were their own mother. Because Colt's favorite receiver, Jordan Shipley, was being smothered by the Oklahoma defense the entire game, he relied on the reliable Fozzy Whittaker to make runs. 'Fozzy' is short for 'Foswhitt', which is one of my very favorite names on the University of Texas football roster, second only to Vondrell McGee.

I'm still wondering which Longhorn is going to step up and take Quan Cosby's place as a big offensive play maker in addition to Shipley. Will it be Fozzy? Or the freshman receiver Marquise Goodwin? Those Texas Longhorns wear me out with exciting games like the one on Saturday, but I can hardly wait til next week!

Game food: kettlecorn, farmer burgers (so called because Sarah made them exclusively from items she bought at the farmer's market) and chocolate pumpkin cake with homemade applesauce.

Can't wait for next week!

2009-10-11T15:06:00.002-05:00

"Mack Brown could recruit lights out, and he was a refreshing change from the pompous Mackovic, but Oklahoma's young genius, Bob Stoops, brought energy and fire and his blood ran cold. Stoops hated Texas with the passion we deserved. Mack Brown didn't hate anyone. Stoops spoke with the clipped tones of a confident football coach. Mack had an easy drawl that made you wonder if he was about to offer you a glass of iced tea. Stoops took every perceived slight personally and stoked his team's hatred until their eyes bulged and they foamed at the mouth. Mack kept an even keel and took things in stride as he occasionally joked with the press. Stoops leveraged the victory in the Cotton Bowl into an unparalleled streak of success that culminated in the hated Sooners winning the 2000 national title behind perhaps the finest defense college football had ever seen. This was supposed to be our national title season, not the black tale of the forces of evil reaching the summit that the Cult of 1969 only dreamed about. There was only one explanation for this. Bob Stoops was the Devil."

-Adam Jones in Rose Bowl Dreams

Cloudy with a chance...

2009-09-23T15:40:00.003-05:00

Well, look what the rainclouds blew in -- autumn! Inches and inches of rain, temperatures in the 60s...it's like a whole new world!

Wildcat Summer

2009-09-11T14:08:00.008-05:00

We saw lots of high school friends this summer, many of whom we'd barely seen since then. It's amazing how we get along just like we did back then, except now I don't know any of the details of their lives. We've all grown and changed, but we're still the same too.

Then (I had to scan these photos!): High school band trip, 2003
Now: Kate's weddingThen: Joyce visiting me at my first job at Jamba Juice
Now: Joyce visits us from Virginia! Then: Hehe. I think Daniel was 11 or 12 here. Now: (From left to right) PSHS Class of '04, class of '03, class of '10, class of '00 and class of '00!Then: My 18th birthday party at Geoff's apartments.
Now: Visiting Geoff in his cozy Iowa bungalow.Then: Party at Konrad's house!
Now: Visiting Terah in Chicago!Then: Soccer sisters at prom.
Now: At our other soccer sister's wedding.

Follow Up

2009-09-08T12:51:00.005-05:00

The cover story of this month's edition of Austin Fit Magazine is on yoga studios in Austin. They feature 10 studios and ask the studio owners a few questions, and I think it illustrates well the point I tried to make in my last post that all yoga studios are not teaching the same thing, and that most in the United States incorporate individualist ideas that are not present in traditional yoga.

Here are a few responses to the question: "The Sanskrit word 'yoga' has many meanings, what does it mean to you and your studio?"

"'Yoga' means many things to me, but the most prominent meaning is freedom from thyself. When you enter the yoga room, I encourage you to lose yourself in the moment, in the posture, in the feeling and in the present. I promise you won't be disappointed."

"The word 'yoga' translates to 'union,' which means the marriage of the individual self and the all-encompassing True Self (the Source, divinity, God or whatever you'd like to call it). Interestingly, the Tibetan word for 'yoga' translates as 're-union,' which implies a kind of return home. This marriage is the guiding principle of Dharma Yoga."

"Yoga means to unite or to yoke. I hope that yoga helps people become more in touch with themselves both physically and mentally. As a studio, we are trying to unite many different styles, demographics and people. It's all about coming together with yoga as the central theme."

Yoga-Free Yoga

2009-09-02T14:07:00.003-05:00

What I like about yoga is the attitude it has about the body; it's a major component of your being, not separate from your intellectuality and your spirituality. It's not something to be ignored or critical of, and it's also not a tool for vanity, elevating yourself above others with it.

I like the health benefits. Yoga counteracts our modern lifestyle of inactivity and high stress levels, therefore counteracting many of the health problems that afflict our society. Quality of life is improved for all who practice correctly. The strength and flexibility work make for a body better equipped to handle illness and maintain mobility with age. Breath work enhances oxygen flow to different parts of the body and produces an effect that is both enlivening and calming. Yoga includes time specifically to be still and quiet, relaxing the body. At the same time, yoga challenges people to be mentally focused rather than distracted and scattered.

Is any of this unbiblical?

I'm striving to become a yoga instructor, although I'm unsure about the "rightness" of this goal. Yogic philosophy claims to be applicable and inoffensive to any and all belief systems, yet nothing I've read of actual yogic philosophy supports this. It seems that most yoga practices are at least somewhat based on traditional yogic philosophy, which centers around the idea that the brokenness we see in the world is not reality, but rather, a false perception of reality. Yoga practice is about true awareness-- personal awareness of the body, mind and spirit. And when you have attained complete awareness, often called enlightenment, you will have attained union with the Supreme Being (the word yoga means "union"). Enlightened people have come to realize that the image they had of themselves and the world as imperfect and incapable of perfection was erroneous. They are actually completely good, without blemish, and so is the rest of the world. In many cases, yogis take this so far as to say that in enlightenment, you realize your personal divinity.

This obviously doesn't jive with monotheism, or with the Christian belief that man is fallen and, in this life, incapable of complete communion with God. Yet, yoga instructors and books insist that yoga is a physical, mental and spiritual practice that is compatible with any set of beliefs. I wonder if this is because yogic philosophy has become so contorted and confused (much like Christianity) that we've adopted the classic individualist attitude of, "Yoga is whatever you decide it is." Most yoga teachers you would encounter in the States use bits and pieces of traditional yogic philosophy, but they also incorporate a lot of their own ideas, so their teachings are not “true yoga.” The tricky part for students is that yoga in the U.S. is usually taught by a teacher, and it's impossible to know right away if the teacher's goal is leading his students toward "enlightenment" or if yoga is simply an Eastern-style quest for a better quality of life.

I’ve been thinking a lot in the past several months about yoga and the responsibility that comes with being a yoga instructor. For the moment, I have peace of mind about teaching yoga classes, as long as I am communicating clearly and directly the goal for a yoga practice in my class. (No out-of-body experiences allowed in my class. If you find yourself transcending your body, please return immediately.)

America's Heartland

2009-09-01T14:11:00.007-05:00

We got home from our little jaunt around the Midwest just over a week ago to discover that the seasons had changed from summer to back-to-school while we were gone! As we get back into the swing of things, I'm going to take a moment to reminisce back to summer...

Day 1: We found the people in Wichita, Kansas to be a little strange.
Day 2: The Iowa State Fair with an old friend.Day 3: The Chicago Art Institute with the best tour guide (and truest Texan) ever! Day 4: People are wild about their team here! Day 5: Dinner with Aunt Evon, Dawn and Scott and their four boys in Terre Haute, Indiana.
Dawn made a pie that was so good, she gave me the recipe, and I feel I must share it with you:

Dawn's Apple Pie
*5-6 apples, peeled and sliced
*1 cup sugar
*4 tbsp flour
*1/4 tsp salt
*1 tsp cinnamon
*Pillsbury pie crust

Mix the first five ingredients together. Put in the bottom crust, which is in the pie pan. Dot with butter and put the top crust on. Cut several vent slits in the top crust, brush with milk and sprinkle with sugar. Bake for 40 minutes at 400.

Day 6: Cartwheeling in the field of giant faux corn with my friend Stephanie. Only in Ohio. Or possibly Iowa. Day 7: Exploring scenic Amish country in Eastern Ohio.Day 8: No horse races in Louisville during the summer (but they have Kentucky bourbon year-round!) Day 9: David thinks the baby-sized, cherry flavored dip cones at the Dairy Queen in Murray, Kentucky are just as good as they were in 1992.Ok, now I'm ready. Bring on the fall!!!

Mighty Fine: the way fast food should be

2009-08-07T09:51:00.008-05:00

Mighty Fine Burgers, an Austin chain, is the ideal fast food restaurant. Can I say that? In today's eating climate of food awareness and food activism, we all know that fast food is not the ideal way to eat, not just because of the high-fat menu. Convenience eating leads to quick eating, which leads to overeating. But apart from health factors, convenience eating leads away from family dinners and therefore quality time in the home.

Ok. Fast food is not ideal, but it is very much a part of our American reality (see below how patriotic Mighty Fine Burgers is: seating is family-style with long tables with blue and white-checked table cloths and red folding chairs. Pat dressed appropriately for the occasion.)
Even though I wouldn't say that I recommend fast food, on the spectrum of traditional fast food restaurants, Mighty Fine just may top them all. They have a short list of menu offerings: burgers of two sizes, with or without cheese, hotdogs, fries, sodas, lemonade and milkshakes. Mighty Fine's restaurant concept is built around the slogan "Quality is Everything", so the milkshakes are made with Bluebell, the lemonade is freshly squeezed and the cheeseburgers use "real American cheese" (real American cheese...? Well, whatever.) They boast all-natural beef from vegetarian-fed cows not raised on factory farms and not given hormones and antibiotics. The beef is ground in-store daily. Mighty Fine emphasizes transparency in producing their menu items, storing their raw ingredients in the middle of the store:And you can watch them form your fresh burger patties:
As someone who has had a job or two in food service, I know that this is significant because I know that in mid-level restaurants (as opposed to down-and-dirty restaurants or high-end restaurants), it's usual for fries to be pre-cut and frozen, and it's not uncommon for burger meat to arrive at the restaurant in frozen patties formed by machines.

So does all that make for better taste? Yes. There's a reason the line is practically out the door at lunchtime. The burgers taste like the fresh, honest-to-goodness beef that they are, which is actually unique.

And does all that make for a higher price? By fast food standards, yes. The 1/2 lb. burger David and I split was $4.95, our order of fries was $1.99, and our milkshake was $3.79, for a grand total of $11-ish for two people (we had had a big breakfast.) A 1/4 lb. burger was $3.55, and cheeseburgers cost a little more.

Although the food and pricing are on par with a sit-down restaurant, Mighty Fine is certainly fast food in style. At the head of a winding line, there are several registers where your order can be taken. The staff person makes notations on a paper bag for the approximately 1,000 additional employees behind the counter who, within minutes, assemble your meal and call your name. Then, clutching your paper bag, you search for a sufficient number of seats (preferably next to pleasant-looking people) amongst the aforementioned family-style seating.

A perk for parents is the restaurant's hand-washing machine, sure to intrigue the kids. The machine automatically begins a cleaning process when you insert your hands into the two hand-sized holes, and afterwards you're rewarded for your cleanliness with a "Clean Hands" sticker. This is surprisingly exciting for adults as well.

Mighty Fine is good for a novelty fast food experience. And it's also good for an alternative to the usual greasy burger joint.

Hello, mid-twenties!

2009-07-26T00:29:00.008-05:00

I don't care what Andy Williams says, my birthday is the most wonderful time of the year! I turned 24 on Thursday, and boy oh boy, what fun it was to open the mailbox, inbox and voicemail to find out that so many people had thought about me that day.

And my thoughtful husband arranged for all of my meals (he has excellent taste) and took me out to see Jaws at the Paramount Theatre. Below is a picture of the ceiling inside the theatre and you can still see the hole that Houdini had them drill for one of his tricks when he performed there back in the day.
We were pretty stressed by the end of the movie, so we took a walk around the capitol to wind down.
And there we found Lady Bird Johnson's children playing in the sprinklers.
On Saturday Emily, Sarah and I set out on a Birthday Day of Fun that Sarah planned for me. We started with breakfast at a new restaurant and then opted to laze about at Barton Springs to digest rather than take part in the free yoga class going on right behind us.

Then we headed out to Wimberley to visit one of the few olive orchards in the United States. The guy below runs the place and was our tour guide. He looks like he'd be a good ol' Texas boy, doesn't he? He actually came here from California, thinking that our "crappy soil, intense heat and lack of rain" would be perfect for an olive orchard. We learned a lot of good stuff about olive oil, including how tasty it can really be!

Then we swung by the Wimberley Glass Works studio and watched a glass blowing demonstration. It's an incredible craft. It's still my dream to become a glass artist when I retire.

Then the boys met us at the Steeping Room for afternoon tea. I'm convinced that it's the lemon vanilla white tea that has me still up at this hour!
Sarah's meal (called the "Zen Tea Service") was the most photogenic.
Emily had the Mediterranean plate and Turkish Delight tea. David and I split an English tea service.
Thanks to everyone who made me feel special on my birthday!!!

Cathedral of Junk

2009-07-20T19:47:00.002-05:00

I couldn't believe I'd never heard of the Cathedral of Junk! In the backyard of a purple house in an unassuming neighborhood in South Austin is a construction of rooms and towers made entirely out of junkyard materials. Car parts, ladders, coke cans, dilapidated antiques...it reminds me a little bit of the Cockroach Hall of Fame in Plano. That's a lot of time and effort for something so impractical (not to mention that it's free for the visitor). What's the point of such things? The point is simply to be fun :-)